78
Stage Four
[depression]

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• He no longer bothers Alexa to entertain him
• “Hi, How is your day going?”
• “I thought I heard whistling as we walked to the pond.”
• “This is my Tuck. In every way”
• If silence could be more silent.
• I’ve always enjoyed their company.
• Once vibrant, once bold, now cast aside
• ‘What? What Dad?’
• “Please open this after Charlie is no longer here.“

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He no longer bothers Alexa to entertain him

Basing his conclusion on the World Health Organization guidelines, and BMI rubrics, his primary doctor had no choice but to registered him as obese. However, as far as he was concerned, he just had that stubborn belly fat you usually get when one becomes old. All that slow metabolism data that Google offers, supports that inference. But then there was that one time when a friend took a picture of him sitting on the grass in front of his house with his dog, Tucker. When he received the jpeg file of that picture, in an email, it was confirmed. He definitely had that classic textbook definition look of an obese man.  Okay, ‘easy to correct’, he thought. He’ll only have one piece of toast rather than two for breakfast. But he also decided to substitute that sacrifice with 3 scrambled eggs rather than 2. Protein has to be good. Balance was his creed. What he feared most of all was his unavoidable and dreaded reflection. Those virtual images, found in mirrors, confirmed that his profile was awfully similar to some pear-shaped character in a comic strip. He disliked mirrors; no, he hated them.

He believed he had enough exercise by doing his own yard work.  “You need to walk at a fast pace. Get outside. Get that heart pumping, everyday” his interventional cardiologist reminded him.  “I would like you to be examined by a cardiologist. I will email you a copy of my referral” his primary physician instructed him. These conversations are not necessarily listed in the order of their occurrence, but probably by level of their intrusiveness. The advice was clear, and reflections don’t lie. ‘I don’t mow the lawn everyday’, calculating how he needed to adjust his mindset by getting up every morning, to walk around the neighborhood. ‘Can’t walk every day with my back aching me like it does’. Resolution: Ozempic.

He thought he was invincible. Hell, we all think we are indestructible. Afterall, he survived his mom smoking non-filtered cigarettes throughout his interment during her pregnancy. He thinks she might have also had a couple of glasses of wine while she was pregnant; many glasses, most likely. Apparently, he made her uncomfortable. He was taught to take aspirin; for everything from a fever, to a tooth ache, and even a hangover from the wine he learned to drink. “Ess, ess mein kind,” was his mom’s plea for the fulfillment of the soul and accreditation of her motherhood, and cooking skills. “Eat, eat, my child. Children are starving half way around the world, and would just die for the food you make me throw out.” “Starch makes everything taste better.” Now, it seems to be showing, head-on collision with reality; he begins to realize that he is not as durable as he was a long time ago.

He knows he is getting too old to mow and landscape much longer. He hates to ask for help, and  no one volunteers, nor follow up with their promises. He might just have to consider moving out of this house. But for now, he figures all that outdoor work has to be healthy exercise. Perhaps one more year. Vienna Fingers, and fresh Publix bakery brownies as a late-night snack surely doesn’t help as his daily regime.  ‘Shopping is a pleasure’ was their claim. ‘Dieting is a preference’ should have been the second sentence of their slogan. ‘Way too convenient’ became the reality watchwords, and ‘No will power’ was to be his tagline.

He is bald, but not enough to have a shiny scalp. He has hair on his head, silky white hair all over his head, in fact.  But he hated the result of letting his hair grow, when most of it accumulates along the lower boundary of the head while leaving the top portion basically bare; ‘Bozo’.  Therefore, he regularly shaves his head in order to keep the whole scalp evenly balanced with tiny hair bristles. For the record, on the state driver’s license, he checked ‘bald’. He would have gladly chosen ‘shaven’ if he were given that option. It should also be noted that he no longer puts a check mark in the divorce box on applications. He now proudly and defiantly checks Single. ‘Please don’t mess with my independence’ was this old man’s mantra.  He loves spreading out his clothing in his walk-in closet, so his dress shirts are in the middle, pants on the right, casual-wear there and shoes here. It’s his closet, and also the cats. According to the national census, every 10 years he is required to maintain his distinguishing insignia of being Caucasian. Ever since he was old enough to make that choice on applications, he questioned its value; what seems to be a pretty obvious characteristic. He did, however, understand why. Although he never accepted it, he admitted he was never brave enough to leave that box unchecked. He was angry for this weakness. ‘Let them figure it out, if it’s so damn important for them to know.’ But, in the end, he was guilty of doing their bidding. ‘Although, there will be limitations.’

He thought he would never get used to living by himself. However, throughout his solitary existence here in  Lower Topia, life has been good to him. Almost thirty years later, he had successfully made his legacy. But all that is left now is just gossip. Nobody, who knew him back then, is alive or still here. His neighbors consider him an OG; they only met him recently. His remoteness has been a way of life for about a decade; a product of being the last one left. First his dog died, then his cats. His memories are of the afternoon lunches with friends that are no longer here to comfort him. Volunteered a lot, in the day, with his dog.  Cuddled with his cats; they always returned the favor. That doesn’t happen anymore. He no longer bothers Alexa to entertain him. She used to keep his home full of sounds of Joplin, Cocker, Dylan, Queen, Rolling Stones, and a little Bowie at times. But lately, the silence pillows his body with white noise that successfully deafens his solitude, his loneliness. Since he always hated being a 5^th-wheel at restaurants and gatherings, today, it seems that those previous decades, of dining alone, had properly and neatly prepared him for his separation he affords himself today.

Sooner or later the Sun will run out of hydrogen.

It was a good day, not quite a once-upon-a-time type of day, but a decent enough day that allowed events to happen without anything major going wrong. It was a day that permitted you to accomplish all the tasks assigned at work, a day when you lost another pound of excess fat, when the supermarket had everything that you had written on your shopping list, and, possibly even a day when you found the price of gasoline just went down by two cents a gallon. 

For almost 30 years, on any given day, there lived this old man; in the same house. Where this old man lived, his neighborhood in Lower Topia was a good, and decent place. 

He was about a month from celebrating his eighty eighth birthday.

His house was built almost 35 years ago. By the time he moved in, he was the third owner. The home was updated to a degree, but lately it was in need of some TLC. He lived on the end of his street, where it shared the same road with about 24 other homes. All the homes on this block were mostly like the old man’s little box he called home; all of them so perfectly defined by a song written by Reynolds and sung by Seeger. The homes on this street, like their residents, were at best mediocre by design. The architecture not only never won any awards, it was absent from ever being put on any list as anything else but a residence; ordinary and run-of-the-mill at best, mainstream at most. His street was provisioned to be leveled and paved so its footpaths would be due west and east, as the compass needle would verify. Some of the residents, since then, have expressed their disappointment over time that their houses were poorly positioned, because their homes never afforded them to witness a pictorial sunrise nor sunset. Instead, they saw only a parabolic evolution of the sun throughout the day. For them there was only a little bit of sun in the morning followed by the same little bit of sun at the end of each day; during the middle portion of each day there was sun. These residents were denied, from either their lanai or the front porch, views of dramatic orange, red, yellow nor shades of gray skies. They would never witness a renaissance sky for which an artist would have taken credit painting, or a Facebook® patron would have posted on their Facebook® page.

However, for as humdrum as this place was to be on the outside, this old man would still be entertained by a complete spectrum, a collection, of neighbors; all ages, and of all possible family and non-familial arrangements. And you should also know, that this old man, who lived by himself, at the end of this block, in a home that was the same as everyone else’s home on his street, unassuming, wasn’t someone with whom any of  his neighbors had much reason to talk to; neither adults nor kids alike.

It’s wasn’t because they disliked him. On the contrary, his reputation was one that was respected by every resident, by each of his neighbors, on this lane of best wishes, and good intentions. His history, which was retold often, had consisted of the planned gatherings and socials that this old man created, directed and hosted by himself. His garage was an open hardware store; neighbors came in to borrow tools and supplies whenever his garage door was open. It would be opened all the time. And, it was open all the time because the old man’s dog loved sitting outside in the garage watching nothing pass by. His dog, while sitting there, also oversaw the wellbeing of packages delivered and dropped off onto the driveway’s apron. 

This old man’s friendly reputation was definitely well earned, too. He never said no to any request. Over the years, as this street’s ownerships transformed, each home seller told their prospective and presumptive buyers of a uniquely intrinsic value that would be afforded to them with their purchase. The standard pitch, repeated by each of these sellers, during the past decade or so, went something like this; “This home is located on one of  the friendliest blocks you would ever want to live on. And thanks, for this reputation, goes to your future neighbor. I will guarantee that everyone will know everyone on this block, one big happy family of neighbors. Thanks to that guy, in that house, over there.” The seller would point to that house, this old man’s home, “The guy who lives in that house, over there.” They seemed to all agreed that repetition was always a good sign of confirmation. All the sellers liked him. All the buyers couldn’t wait to do the same.  But by the time the street’s transition was finally complete, and the old man had eventually lost everyone he knew, this old man finally did feel officially isolated, possibly betrayed by life itself; with only his memories to remind him how it was. It all changed around him. Water slipping through his incapable fingers to gain any retention of the way it was. All gone. It wasn’t really his fault. He knew that. But he also didn’t prepare for it very well. Where was he to move to? Then, all this potential transition, was too much for him. Then his pets died. Now, he was, for the most part, sadly on his own, by himself.⬆︎

“Hi, how is your day going?”

He never scolded their children, nor judged the children’s parents. Their kids ran up and down the street yelling and screaming; he really did tolerate them. Joyful laughter calmed him with assurance that there is life outside his home. This always amused the old man because it made him remember a scene from a sitcom when Frank said ‘it’s like soaking up the youth’ as Frank deeply inhaled the aroma emanating from a baby’s head.  He was never angry at anybody. Making sure he nodded his head in recognition to their greetings; as they offered best wishes on all the holidays, every day, “good morning,” “good night,” “hello”. The problem with having a conversation with this old man, the only issue that ever existed with this old man, was that he just kept to himself. He made it very clear he just wanted to be alone. He wasn’t a hermit, nor reclusive. He came outside a lot.  He loved tending to his garden in the front of the house. As far as he was concerned, he had the prettiest front yard on the entire street. This would be a fact; no one ever denied that. His desire to be indifferent about their daily conversation beyond the single worded greetings, however, became well known; an invasive force that seemed to affect the sense of well-being for these people who lived on his street. They expected more, but got so much less than they were guaranteed. It seemed that because they were generally a friendly group of people, there was a common feeling among them that something must be wrong with their world; and it was possibly because of this old man. They weren’t really sure. How can this old man have such an effect on their community? It was as if his need for solitude was his way of telling them he wanted nothing to do with them. He willingly shared his space with everyone in the neighborhood, but he just never shared himself; his personal need for privacy was too strong. He just never openly acknowledged them. So, collectively, and for their own sense of well-being, they just decided to stop having any lengthy or meaningful conversation with him. They would still say hello, but they decided to end giving him reason to lessen their view of how well their day was going. They needed to feel good, and he wasn’t going to stop that from happening.

There was this little boy, who walked up to this old man while the old man was attending to his garden in the front of his house.

“Hi, how is your day going?”  asked the young boy who lived just 3 houses to the east of the old man; opposite side of the street.  

“Hey.” The old man responded.  He wasn’t particularly ready to have a conversation right at that moment. Typical of any day. But at this very moment he really was preoccupied trying to decide if the bird feeder he just bought from Tractor Supply should go right under the Bottlebrush tree, in the front yard, or just beyond its dangling branches. ‘Do birds like shade?’ He asked himself. ‘I’ll Google it tonight.’

“That’s a pretty hot bird feeder you have. My uncle has one in his back yard.  He told me once that birds will come but they like privacy. So, maybe if you put it in the front yard the birds won’t come and feed from it.”  The boy wasn’t really concerned whether the old man wanted to talk, wanted advice, or just wanted to be left alone. This boy just wanted to ask questions, talk, and give advice. Regardless. 

He got his attention. This was obvious; the old man was staring at the boy now. It was a tug-of-war between the two of them. Persistence was going to win, but who will have the greater doggedness. The old man was trying hard to guess this boy’s age. ‘Got to be no more then 12, maybe 10 years old?’  The old man calculated. ‘This boy won’t leave. He is still standing here, and still staring at me. Like he is waiting for me to have a conversation with him.’

‘Okay, I can’t shut him up without being really rude.  Besides, he is too young to understand that some people desire solitude.’ The old man caved.  “So, you see, I like sitting by the living room window of my house.” The old man pointed to the living room window. “So, it makes sense for me to put this thing here so I can watch the birds when they come and eat the seeds.”  The old man seemed to feel like he was being dragged into a conversation he really didn’t want to have. But surprisingly, he was kind of enjoying explaining his strategy to this little kid. 

“That makes a lot of sense.”  Said the young boy. “But I still believe you would do better if it was put in your backyard, away from all the noise of the cars and us kids. Maybe try sitting on your lanai in the back of the house.”  Proud for offering his advice. Never bothered to wonder if the old man agreed with him, or even wanted it, he continued. 

The old man laughed.

“Hi. My name is Eli.”  The boy stood with his shoulders back, and obviously proud of this announcement.  “What’s your name?” The boy wondered why he shouldn’t ask him what his name is? The boy stared directly into the old man’s eyes while patiently waiting for the old man’s name to be disclosed.  

‘Oh brother. Why?  It started out being a quiet day. It’s like I’m on some stage.  Who is watching us?  This block can be so nosy sometimes. My business is everyone’s business. I know they talk about me. All the time. Nodding and pointing with their eyes as they conference across the street. Now I have this kid standing on my front yard talking to me. This can’t be a good thing. More gossip.’

“Charles. You can call me Charles if you want.  Mr. Charles works, too. Hi, Eli.”  The old man finally gave in.  Funny though, he actually felt okay with this concession to participate with this kid.  Kind of felt good to have someone interested in him. Even a kid would do.

“Charles. That works.”  The boy finalized the deal with a smile. 

Charles smiled back, but not a full smile. More of a tightening of the lips as he pulled them back so the smile crease on the cheek showed, but not the teeth.

“You live by yourself?  Yes?” Eli continued while making that into a rhetorical question. “I know you do. Never see anyone here but you. My father told me you once had a really friendly dog, who liked to sit on a cot, outside, all day. Was it a boy or girl dog?”  Eli’s voice was in full forward motion. Engaged with the possibility that he has a new friend. And this new friend was going to connect with him. ‘What a good day this is turning out to be’, Eli confirmed to himself.

“Boy dog. His name was Tucker. He passed away a while ago, maybe 10 years ago.”  Charles found this weirdly strange to talk about Tucker after all these years. “Yes. He was a very very friendly dog, who sat outside all day. Never got much done, errands that is, with him just wanting to just sit there.” Charles pointed to the garage door. ‘Eli’s parents must have been one of the recipients of the seller’s sales pitch’. Charles smiled at that thought. But reality confirmed that those who really knew Tucker, however, no longer live here in this neighborhood. ‘They either moved away, or just died.’ They just aren’t here anymore. So, lately he had no one to share his memories of his best friend anymore. His memories were becoming forgotten. Charles lost everything over the past 10 years that was important to him at one time; Tucker, cats, friends, everything. He attended the funerals of those that died and were memorialized here in Lower Topia.  And those that moved, most did so without much fanfare; no hugging; lots of fake, empty promises of continued contact. He always felt alone, but now saying Tucker’s name out loud for the first time in a long time, sealed it. He is alone.

Eli saw Charles was beginning to look sad. “I’m really sorry. Maybe I shouldn’t have asked. I lost a dog, too.”

“When did your dog die?” Charles asked, knowing this had to be a tough question to ask a kid.

“No. Buddy didn’t die. We had to give it away because my grandma had to move in with us, and she is allergic to animals.”  Charles saw that Eli was challenging him; who could look more miserable.  “We had to give Buddy to another family. I don’t know which family. Buddy was gone by the time I got home from school. My mom and dad said it was a good family. So, Buddy went to a good family. I guess.”  Eli tried to smile but felt more like Charles must have felt.

Charles offered Eli another smile. Eli saw the offer, and he smiled back. They agreed, without words, it’s okay. ‘It’s something in our past. We’re okay.’ Their smiles sealed it. It will be okay; they agreed. Eli felt it, Charles did, too.  Then without control, with so much guilt, Charles felt awful that he couldn’t stop his head from thinking. ‘Damn, lies, all lies kid. Like Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. But that’s okay kid, we’re okay.’ 

Eli twitched inside with a sudden feeling of despair. ‘What?’

“I also had three cats, Celeste, Bella, and Harry.” Charles felt he needed to add this; the recipient was just a little boy, and he wanted to offer a distraction. “They also passed away. First Harry died, then Celeste, finally Bella, about 15 years ago.”  ‘Not sure that was much of a distraction, but it feels good telling Eli; to share. This kid seems to understand.’

“It’s nice to have friends you can remember. I would like to have friends that I can remember.” Eli replied. “Maybe you can be my friend?” Eli added.

Sarah stood outside the front door of Eli’s home.  She looked down the street towards where her son was standing and talking to that old man. 

‘What’s his name?  Damn, I can’t remember what I was told.’ “Eli!  Eli, it’s time to come home and do your homework. Dinner will be on the table as soon as your dad comes home from work. Come home now.”  

Sarah voice was loud enough she felt for Eli to hear her, but not angry. She hoped. Charles looked at Sarah; offered her a wave to ensure her he was harmless. 

‘It was a casual conversation’, his wave was intended to communicate to Eli’s mother. Sarah waved back. ‘She knows’.  Charles felt confident about that.  

‘He has a really good reputation around here. His just a loner, I guess. But I do have questions to ask Eli during dinner tonight.’ Sarah made a mental note not to forget. The necessity was there. So was the curiosity.

The following day Sarah saw Charles in the front yard. ‘He is moving something from under a tree. Apparently attending to the same task that he was working on when he and Eli were talking yesterday. Eli and Daisy, are at school. This would be a good time to speak with him.’ She took this as an opportunity to walk over there. It was a chance to grab onto.

“Hi, I’m Sarah. Eli’s mother.”  Hoping not to sound too apologetic, and but definitely intending to define her role as a mother; ‘I have the right to speak with you. To ask questions. You were talking to my son yesterday, and I don’t really know who you are. That’s your fault, being so distant from everyone here. God knows we tried to talk to you so many times. I have a right to approach you, on your property, and ask questions.’ Sarah was hoping that when she decided to go from her thoughts to real words it must sound organized, with a purpose. Without being too challenging. 

“Hi, Sarah.  My name is Charles. I hope Eli introduced me to you and your husband yesterday during dinner. He is a very polite boy, and I hope he wasn’t upset or anything, to make you come over here.”  Charles was remembering the golden rule of not speaking to strangers that every parent teaches their children from the first day they can speak. Today, sadly, it almost always supersedes learning how to say mama or papa first. ‘Oh, look sweetheart. Our baby just said its first words, “Stranger!!”. How sweet is that.’ That dialogue made Charles smile. But he does seriously respect that parental rule. And he knows that he kind of broke it yesterday.  He knows that. 

Perfectly timed, Sarah spoke at the very second Charles ended his statement. “Charles, I hope Eli wasn’t too meddling and forward yesterday. A bother, or anything like that. He was told never to just walk up to somebody like that and fire away with questions. He told us of his advice about where you should put that bird seeder. But Eli has always been independent to the rules my husband and I lay out for him to follow. I’m glad you stuck to it and placed the feeder in the front yard.” Sarah wasn’t really finished, but she took a long enough break for Charles to add.

‘Was that a compliment?’ “Absolutely. I totally agree. We’re definitely on the same page. But he was really friendly enough. We shared memories. It was a pleasant conversation.”  Charles and Sarah smiled in unison realizing they both were both apologizing; Eli as the common element, their assurances the string that bound everything together. Smiles indicated they were both satisfied with how this introduction was going. 

With the overture complete, Charles wasn’t sure why he needed to continue.  He really wanted to get back to his chore of finding the right placement for his bird feeder; in the front yard. ‘Where was I? Or yeah. Maybe the kid was right all along. Maybe this feeder needs to be in the back yard away from the noise and intrusions coming from the street and bothersome mothers.’ Charles looked up and Sarah was still standing there.  She was looking at him and ‘is she going to give me her opinion where I need to place this damn feeder, too?’ Charles smiled quietly inside. ‘First, this kid comes along, followed by his mother; apparently, he has become a topic of conversation in this stranger’s home.’

Charles needed to break the silence and hopefully have Eli’s mother stop staring at him. “I’m guilty for not asking you for your permission first. He did just come over to chat, and I really started to find him engaging.  But I will surely agree to not have him come here again. If that’s what you and your husband would like to happen. It would be appropriate that Eli and I not have anything more to say to each other. I do understand. But please know that I did enjoy his conversation, and his company.  He is a really polite boy.”  Charles just wasn’t sure if that was too forward, too assuming, or just a good offensive position to take with a mother of a boy, who he was caught talking to the other day; without parental permission. ‘Damn this society I live in’. Then balancing his annoyance for his need of a defense. ‘What was I ever thinking that any good would come about for talking to a little boy I didn’t know?’ He concluded to himself, ‘Stupid!!’

“No. No. Please don’t misunderstand why I am here.” Sarah replied within seconds of Charles finishing. “I needed to introduce myself to you, and at the same time, have you to do the same with me.”  Sarah spoke with a calm, friendly voice; carefully orchestrating her words to maintain her focus that this conversation was all about getting to know the person she just knew was going to be a fixture in her family, if she had any confidence in her son’s ability to predict what he knew was going to happen. “We, my husband and I, needed to know that you would be okay to continue to see Eli. Only if you want to.”  A moment to put together her next thoughts, she needed for Charles to understand what she knows.

“Charles.”  Sarah paused for a very long second.  “Charles, you should know something. We know you.  Everyone here on this block knows you.  We’ve been wanting to reach out to you, but you were so difficult to do that. Reach out to.”  Sarah’s smile was warm and caring. Charles saw that. He listened carefully as Sarah used the words he wasn’t prepared to hear, but really wanted to receive. 

“Okay. I find that both nice to know, but also somewhat confusing. Why, if you all knew me, didn’t anyone come over sooner to chat with me?” Charles wasn’t annoyed; just curious.

Sarah asked a question, with a soft voice, “Charles, did you really want us to come over?  Did you really?  Or did it take a child to come over to break the barrier?” Charles smiled and nodded.

“How old is Eli?” Charles asked.

“Eli and his twin sister are 12 years old. They will be 13 very soon.” Sarah responded as a matter of fact.

“One of a pair?  A pair of Eli’s? Nice. What is Eli’s sister’s name?” Charles was so engrossed in this conversation, he totally forgot why he was outside; ‘Oh yeah. The bird feeder.’

“Daisy. And you will be happy to know that she doesn’t have the same personality as Eli.  You will not see Daisy all that often. I’m not saying she is introvert, for now, she’s just private. Something like you, Charles.”  Sarah laughed and so did Charles.

“Then I must meet Daisy. She will understand me.”  Smile met smile. Charles was enjoying this conversation. A lot.⬆︎ 

“I thought I heard whistling as we walked to the pond.”

And so, this tale of a young boy, and his old friend, the old man, began its journey. Too late for the old man to build a new life; Charles ver.2. And, maybe it was also a little early for the young boy to realize any future value from it; just one of many friends for him yet to meet. But it was, for that moment, the blending of two lives, two different worlds separated by time; albeit, that they were very similar. We should agree that it was important for each of them to participate in this encounter. However, this meeting was not inevitable. It was not destiny; but rather something observers would have predicted to be the logical next step to curiosity, that just logically follows this given scenario. It was only by chance; an opportunity taken. There was no hand-of-fate orchestrating this union. Actually, at that moment, there was no union, just a momentary companionship of two people looking for a conversation. An unassuming decision, naïve at best, Eli observing Charles, where to place a bird feeder. Eli’s actions came from inside of him; a desire to be nosey, to intrude, okay, maybe to just say hello. But what was done was inescapably a planned action. A formulated strategy at that moment; not one that was part of a master plan of providence. In either case, an opportunity for happenstance to occur.

It quickly became a ritual that the residents on this block witnessed every afternoon on every school day; rain or shine. Charles would set up, in his garage, a small bridge table, with collapsible legs. Garage door open. Table placed on the cusp of the garage floor and driveway.  If it was a hot day, Charles would turn on the same fan Tucker had sat in front of when he laid on his cot in the same garage, a long time ago.  The table was holding a container of milk, three glasses, and a bowl of Oreo cookies [the decided favorite choice for both Eli and his twin sister Daisy, and of course Charles]. The school bus would arrive the same time each day, around the corner from Charles’ home; in front of a park that Charles used to visit every day. Finally arriving to the foot of the driveway, Eli and Daisy were noticeably exhausted, each burdened with a backpack not designed to carry so many books and school stuff by such young children. They would walk up the driveway to his house, to the garage, find Charles sitting at his mutually agreed assigned seating, and enjoy their afternoon snack; each and every school day. Shortly afterwards, so Charles wasn’t guilty, Sarah would stand outside her home. Almost on cue, she would stand outside her front door, call for the kids to come home to do their homework and wash for dinner. The conversation, in the garage, during their afternoon gatherings, was filled with recalling the events of that day, plans for the next day, trips to take, skills needed and to be learned, and memories to be made. Daisy, like her brother, was full of opinions. Unique to her, however, was her conversations were always sweetened with smiles and giggles; which pleased Charles while it bothered Eli, equally. On weekends and holidays, the children were to spend their time with their family, and Charles used those days to work on his garden. It was to be a perfect arrangement; where different lives were connected, and smiles and good stories shared; sealing this relationship without disturbing their personal lives. Charles was happy.  Eli was happy. So were Daisy, and Sarah.

He finally decided the bird feeder would be best put in the front yard so he can see the birds feeding from his living room window. Eli accepted that decision with grace and instructions on exactly how far in the shade it should be placed.

On a particular Sunday, while Eli’s parents were busy doing chores around the house, and Daisy was still at her sleep-over with friends around the corner and hadn’t returned home yet, Eli walked over to Charles’s home. He came carrying a fishing rod and pail of live bait; worms that he dug up from his garden earlier that morning. 

“Hey Eli. Wow, never knew you were a fisherman. Going fishing?” ‘Of course, he is, stupid’. Admonishing himself for stating the overtly obvious reason why someone is walking around with a fishing pole, Eli looked at Charles with a smile. 

“My dad always tells me that I go fishing only because I believe that the earthworms I use as baits like to go swimming. Nothing much else happens at that end of the pole.” Eli laughed and Charles had his broad smile working. “Yes. Over there at that pond.  It’s a small pond, but it does have fish that are hungry enough. I don’t keep them, but it’s fun to catch them.”  Eli stood there with a look of anticipation towards Charles. Charles finally caught on to the point of Eli’s stare.

“Can I join you?  Would you like me to go with you to watch you fish?  I don’t, you know, but I wouldn’t mind sitting with you, if you didn’t think I would scare the fish away with this ugly face.” Charles asked. Charles hasn’t asked anyone for anything in a very long time. Charles hoped he wouldn’t be disappointed, again.

“That would be awesome Charles.  That would be great to have you join me.” Eli smiled. ‘Wow!’ Charles was thrilled with anticipation.

It was maybe 100 feet from Charles’s home, but it was a journey Charles and Eli took together. Charles smiled than released a “Ha”. 

“What’s so funny, Charles?”  

“I thought I heard whistling as we walked to the pond.”  Charles tried to explain this little trip they were on reminded him of a TV show he watched when he was a kid himself. Ended up telling Eli that he was exactly like a character on that show. “You’re a real live Opie, Eli.” Another “Ha” and then a sigh. Eli made a mental note to Goggle ‘Opie’ later, and the whistling.

They reached the bank, sat on the freshly mowed grass.  Eli proceeded to open his small box he was carrying; it contained lures and other fishing paraphrenia, extra hooks, some fishing line, a small knife. Not too much more than what you would expect a 12-year-old to have in a tackle box.  But Charles was duly impressed with not only what he had stored in this box, but how organized it was. ‘Elie has the makings of being OCD like me’ Charles approved.  

The pond was calm that day. Although it’s a small pond, on windy days it can have ripples forming on the surface. Those ripples didn’t exist that day, and Eli’s cast sent his lure and line sailing far enough from the bank that Charles had difficulty finding it once it landed on the water. But there it was, bobbing like it was placed exactly where Eli had intended it to end up. Eli was satisfied. Charles was impressed with Eli’s undiscovered talent. The sun was bright, and the rays of light bounced off the surface of the water like electric sparks. The hook and some of the fishing line were slightly submerged under the dark blue water. Their location was only noted by the floating bob to which they were attached.

The bob started to do its vertical dance, like an alarm clock sounding it’s intended hour, this bob announced the arrival, attachment, of an invited guest. ‘Did he get a bite?’ Charles peaked his attention to the place where the lure was submerged just below the red and white bob. Suddenly the movement stopped; possibly never happened, and the anticipation that made Charles and Eli hope for success ended. 

Sitting on the bank, these two friends found that there was plenty of time for gossip. Sadly, Charles forgot how to do small talk; the thing people do when they are sitting on the edge of a pond, and found themselves staring at a floating fishing bob. Eli broke the silence, and asked, “What are you going to do later today, Charles? After we finish fishing.” Eli asked. “I mean go shopping, see friends?” Eli finished his question. Charles was very certain, for Eli too ask so casually, as if this was something he and Eli do every day, helped Charles feel a part of his life. 

“Nope. No plans. Nothing special, I guess.” Charles admitted. 

“It’s my birthday today, Charles. Well, our birthday, Daisy and me” Eli told Charles with a excitement in his voice. Offering Charles this information was something Eli was planning on all morning. Taking Charles to the pond was part of the plan, that would end with this announcement. Eli felt it was important to share this with Charles. Charles was his best friend, ‘ever’. 

“Oh, that’s wonderful Eli. I’m very happy for you.  I wish I had known earlier. I would have bought you a gift. Thirteen? Right?” Charles was happy that Eli shared this with him, but also disappointed that he couldn’t give Eli a gift. Daisy should also get something from him, too. ‘Why didn’t Eli tell me. Daisy and Eli were at my house this past week. Did they tell me and I forgot?’ Charles was full of guilt if he was told.

“Did you or Daisy tell me that this weekend was your birthday and I forgot?” Charles needed to know, needed to be upset with himself if this was true.

“No. No Charles. Daisy and I agreed we wouldn’t tell you for that reason. We didn’t want you to feel you had to go shopping for us. I told Daisy that I would ask you to join me to go fishing today so I could tell you. Like I just did. Daisy will be here soon, too. We really wanted to share this news with you, without the gift part. Daisy is late getting home. I couldn’t wait any longer to tell you. She is going to be really mad at me for not waiting for her to be here. But she shouldn’t have been late, either.” Eli brought Charles up to date with the plan and decision. 

“13 years old? That’s really great. Right? We finally made it to being a teen.” Eli decided it was okay to tell Charles without Daisy. ‘She has her friends to share that news with. This is my friend that she latched onto.’

Just as Eli told Charles, Daisy arrived. Almost as if it was on cue. Eli couldn’t help to express to himself, ‘Stupid Daisy.’Charles had listened with enthusiasm to Eli’s announcement. And, shared his best wishes for both of them; now that Daisy had joined them. He sincerely was happy for both of them, and he let them both know how pleased he was. And, how honored he was that they wanted to share this news with him. Not wanting to make Charles feel he needed to give them a gift was very special, too. Daisy wasn’t upset with Eli for not waiting. She expected that he wouldn’t wait.

Following closely behind Daisy’s arrival, their father, Travis, joined them on the pond’s bank. 

The occasion was indeed momentous, reaching this important milestone. Travis and Sarah could not allow this to pass by without some fanfare. Charles was sure of that. And again, as if it were being directed by some play’s orchestrated narrative, they all turned their attention to the pond, the lure left to idle while all the announcements and congratulations were given and shared. They silently agreed, what would be the next appropriate thing to do is sit in some kind of prearranged order. Eli sat to Charles’s left. Travis sat on to the left of Eli, and Daisy to Charles’ right.  A neat row of people sitting together on the bank of this small pond. All of them looking at the same bob that is slowly rising and falling with the shallow undulation of the water supporting it. 

‘What in the world am I doing here with this family. Why are they now sharing their lives with me? On purpose? They planned this? I’m not sure how sharing afternoons with them over cookies and milk lead to them occupying my space, my solitude? I don’t know what more to say to them other than what I already said. And yet, we are still sitting here. How much longer can they want, need, my attention?’ His mind took a short break before stressing again. ‘Look at me. Sitting along this bank with these strangers. Really. What do I know about any of them? Other than general conversation over cookies and milk with two children, what do I know about them? If I share with them my history, how long is theirs that could possibly entertain me? Am I making a difference in their lives? How was this connection even made in the first place? Oh yeah, that damn bird feeder.’ Charles wasn’t prepared for this at all. 

Although they came close to finding out how long is the duration of eternity, Travis was the first to break the silence.  “Listen, Charles. You know the kids think the world of you. And, for that matter, so do Sarah and I.” With his breath inhaled, followed by the compulsory exhale, Travis continued, “So where I’m going with this, Sarah and I, and of course the kids…well we always go to Perkins for a birthday dinner. Each birthday, Not sure where all this ritual started. But we, of course, are going to Perkins tonight to celebrate their birthdays. As exected.” Eli and Daisy both smiled with excitement at being reminded what is in the plans for tonight.

“Fried chicken and French fries. Are the best, ever. Charles.” Eli decided to add his thoughts about tonight. Daisy smiled, and added, “I usually get their pancakes, bacon and eggs. I’m allowed breakfast when I go there, even if it’s night time.” Daisy added with her quick giggle, and big smile. She looked at her father for confirmation. Travis smiled and nodded in approval.  Daisy clapped.

“Like I was about to ask, Charles. The kids and us want to have you join us for dinner tonight. Eli really wanted to wait till now to ask since he was positive, he didn’t want you to get them presents.” Travis statement was immediately followed by Daisy’s facial expression. ‘Getting gifts is always allowed. But I’ll play along. I like Charles. So, no gifts.’ Daisy begrudgingly capitulated. 

What a dilemma. Charles really didn’t want to insult them, but why in the world would he want to have dinner with people he really doesn’t know. Sarah and Travis are wonderful parents. He knew that. But they weren’t his family. He never was invited to their home; he was never in their home, as they were never in his. Dinner to celebrate their kids’ birthday? ‘Well, okay. I can’t say no. There is no way I can say no without hurting the kids’ feelings. 

“That sounds like a wonderful thing to do. Sure, I will be happy to join you for dinner tonight.” Eli and Daisy shouted with joy, as they jumped in unison. 

“That’s great Charles. We will be ready around 5 this afternoon. Will that work for you? We’ll drive, of course.” Travis looked at his children to get their approval. It was all set. Charles would join them for dinner.⬆︎

“This is my Tuck. In every way“

Travis walked home, leaving Eli and Daisy and Charles to return to their vigilance, watching the bob continuing to show no signs of interest from the fish below it. Daisy looked at Eli first, then directed her attention to Charles. “Do you have grandchildren Charles? Do you get to go to dinner with them a lot? How many do you have Charles? How old are they?” Daisy seemed to be very comfortable asking these personal questions that might not have been appropriate to ask earlier. But now that Charles has agreed to be with her family, it was certainly a good time to fill in all those unasked questions, that she and Eli had wanted to ask. Eli was happy to let Daisy take the lead here. The correct location of bird feeders was one thing, does he have grandchildren is totally another issue. His mind overheard the whispered conversation his parents had, ‘Do you think he would come with us? He is such a nice man. All alone all the time. It would be a shame not to invite him to the kid’s birthday dinner. They like him. And since your mom died, why not have him join us?’ Sarah probably asked Travis. 

‘Why do parents think we don’t understand?’ Daisy was certain she was right about Charles. He is all alone. She wasn’t sure if he was alone because he had no one, or because his family don’t want to see him. Daisy understood that was a much different kind of being alone. She knows about that type. She has ‘friends who never see either their mom or dad, ever. How sad is that. Not to see family. Ever.’

“Which one is he Eli?” Daisy asked. “Is he alone because there is no one, or because no one cares about him?” Eli didn’t know either. But Eli was sure he wasn’t going to ask Charles. Eli didn’t want to ruin this relationship by asking really personal questions. Eli has something; a relationship with the old man on the block. And this old man happens to be a legend around here. All those things that this old man did for this block are still whispered from house to house. Everyone respected him, and he wasn’t a mean old guy, just lonely. And he was his friend. ‘Why ruin a good thing, because of a question,’ Eli asked himself. ‘I got something no one has on this block. I’m not going to ruin it by asking a question.’

“I don’t get to see my family anymore. I haven’t in a very long time. I have grandchildren. Much older than you guys. But I don’t see them either.”  Charles answered their question. Not planned, but surprisingly not painful to say out loud. It’s been a long time since it made him feel bad; not seeing his family. Charles knows that from this point on this is public information. For the people on the block to know him. That he is alone. ‘What the hell. They always knew I was alone.’Charles sighed quietly.  

‘Well,’ Charles thought, ‘well, at least I told them after I was invited by their father to have dinner with them. Otherwise, I would have felt that they were doing this because they felt sorry for me. At least, I was invited for the right reasons.’

Daisy looked at Charles with eyes that wanted to share his pain. But she saw no pain in Charles eyes. Possibly she heard a quiet sigh. But nothing can follow his answer. Even Eli agreed with her; she knew that. Twins just know what the other one is thinking. And Eli, agreed, with himself, never to ask any more questions. Charles is joining them for dinner. Their birthday dinner at Perkins. How great is that. That’s all that matters.

Dinner went better than expected; for everyone. Laughing, with the right amount of quiet time to enjoy the meal. They even found themselves sitting after the dinner plates were removed, just to continue talking. Charles doesn’t remember exactly what brought up the topic of him possibly moving to Oregon; “just a thought.” It was something he thought about over the past few years; especially after his cats died. ‘Nothing left to keep me here’, he always said to himself. 

“Oregon? Ever since I saw the movie ‘Five Easy Pieces’, it has always been a dream of mine to visit. But now, I don’t really have time to go just to visit. Might as well just make it a move.” Charles shared his plans that have laid dormant for so long he almost forgot they were still there. “Nickolson just made that place look so inviting. Especially someone like me who loves nature. Rains a lot there. But that’s okay. I like rain; solitude’s blanket.” Charles felt his rambling became his addiction. His audience has been rather thin lately, so to now find people willing to listen to his dream was different; fascinating. He promised himself he would stop as soon as they looked bored. But they didn’t. They listened, especially Eli. Charles continued, “I don’t go out much anymore. So over there, all I would need is a big window overlooking a pretty forest or stream. Just watch things change over the course of a year of seasons; it would be enough to pique my interest, keep my mind from going stale.” Charles closed his eyes, digging deep into his memory, remembering what Nickolson said in that movie. ‘What did he order in the diner?’ His eyes opened, as the memory was now clear, and said aloud, “I decided that my first meal there will be; a plain omelet, with tomatoes instead of potatoes, a cup of coffee and some wheat toast.” Charles smiled. He remembered. But he wasn’t sure if this family understood the significance of that line; they are far too young to know anything about that movie, or Nickolson. But Charles smiled as they looked at him wondering where that quote came from. ‘It’s been so very long since I had any one listen to me. And questioning me. Nice.’ Charles summarized the movie’s plot for them, and the important scenes. They listened.

Then Travis cleared his throat in order to get everyone’s attention, and Charles wasn’t surprised that they all turned and looked at him. Charles was certain that his first impression of Travis as the kid’s dad was correct. Travis is a good father and he is respected. For certain, Charles knew he was far from the dominate force that molded his children. So be it; that’s his history. But, for Eli and Daisy, their character models seem to be shared between Sarah and Travis. When Travis asked for their attention, he received it; even Sarah’s.

“So, Eli, Daisy, your mom and I have been thinking hard and long about this special birthday. We have a present for you both that we know you will love to have.”  Even Charles had his curiosity up and running with all possibilities from a trip to Disney World, to the possibility that a stupid mistake would end up giving Eli and Daisy a new sibling. Charles felt slightly uncomfortable to be asked to be a part of this introduction; eavesdropping of sorts.  

Travis emphasized that this gift is all about honoring the twin’s birthday. “So, Eli, Daisy, we all know there is something you two have always wanted to have but due to some circumstances couldn’t have.” Travis wondered how much more he can stretch this out before it got silly and ended up being more like a sitcom on TV. He decided just to dive into the surprise, right after one more tease. “So, your mom and I decided what the best gift we could possibly give you.” Sarah was getting incredibly impatient with Travis’ prolonging the announcement. It took almost all her self-control to let her husband stretch the drum-roll a second or two more before she would interject somehow without stealing Travis’ thunder. 

“Your mom and I went shopping and finally found the perfect gift to give you both.” Eli and Daisy were now so beyond excitement they started begging their father, and hopefully their mother to spare them any further agony of the suspense.  “Eli, Daisy here is a picture of your birthday gift.” And with that final sentence, their mother pulled out a 5 x 8 picture of a puppy. The dog was obviously very young. It was all white with a black streak of fur running from mid eye to the top of the skin on its nose. Each paw was covered with black fur, and there was a noticeable black tip at the end of its white tail. The head, although immature with room to grow, had a stubby snout; a little bit like the nose of a young Labrador, but a little shorter. The top of its head was definitely its prominent feature, with what could have been described as bulbous at best, broader than the jaw line at the very least. The ears were short, thick, and seemingly out of place with its broad skull; they were arrowhead shaped and folded down, laying firmly on each side of its head. Broad chested with the rest of the body tapering dramatically to its rump, this puppy had all the signs of being a mix bred Staffordshire terrier. With its oversize paws, it would grow much taller than its purebred lineage. 

‘Tucker!!!!’ Charles bellowed to himself. ‘This is my Tuck. In every way, every feature. Except a total negative print.’ Charles stared at the picture. With the puppy leaning its head to one side, Charles immediate remembered the iconic pictures of ‘Nipper!!! Exactly how Tucker looked on the first day he arrived at Charles’s home. Oh my, how I miss you, Tuck.’

Eli and Daisy were completely besides themselves; and began making a scene with the entire restaurant turning their heads to the shouting and screaming; children filled with total joy. 

Sarah and Travis sat back satisfied that they made the best decision ever for their wonderful children. Travis looked at Charles to watch his reaction. He was pleased when Charles agreed to come to dinner with them. The kids like him a lot. 

Finally, everyone settled down. Perkins regained some of its composure, as the diners returned to staring at their meal while ignoring their table mate. It was time to go over the particulars; when will they pick up the dog, the appointment with a Vet to examine the dog, the food and toys, dishes, blankets, bed, and all the things needed to make this new addition to their family comfortable and feeling at home as soon as possible. Rules and regulations of course were required reading. Travis, as he has done over the years with them, had listed his instructions onto a piece of paper. To become required reading, the list informed them who would walk the dog, and when. Responsibility in the training, and how it will be trained was paramount in his presentation. Travis was, however, sure he would have to repeat most, if not all, of this at a later time. It was obvious the kids were too preoccupied with the puppy’s picture to give his instruction barely any notice.

“What will we call the dog?” Eli asked. “Is it a boy dog or a girl dog?” Daisy asked. 

Sarah took over this part of the performance. “It is a boy dog. And, let’s decide now if we can, to find a good name for him. We would like to go tomorrow to shop for his supplies, then get him and bring him home.” Charles was watching this process carefully. The delight of the kids, the parent’s sense of anticipation, the whole show’s thrill was so contagious. Charles allowed himself to join in with the excitement. He congratulated the kids, and laughed with the family, that had completely involved him with their joy. He forgot, for that moment, that he lived in a different house. 

Daisy sat perfectly straight, shoulders arched back, both hands flat on the table, head stiff as if she were balancing a book on it top. “I have the perfect name for this puppy!”

Eli took Daisy’s cue, as if he was in her head and part her thoughts. He also sat perfectly erect, hands and head totally in line with his sister’s. He was ready for her announcement. So were the parents. Charles, too, with a little bit of reservation.

“Let’s call him, Charlie!” Daisy announced. Eli first hid his surprise, but then immediately agreed with a sharp nod of certainty. 

Charlie sat in the living room waiting patiently for him to grab his leash and collar, take him outside for his afternoon walk to the park around the corner. After 3 months, it was beginning to sink in, ‘patience’ is synonymous with ‘Stay’. And, Charlie was beginning to show signs of becoming well versed in the language of cues; some were accompanied by hand movements, most were implied by what Charles was carrying; holding a leash means ‘we’re going on a walk’, biscuit in his hand means ‘sit and pretend you are a good boy’.

Those days when Charles was moving as fast as he could while arthritis limited his mobility, Charlie knew his friend would be slower than normal. Charlie sensed a need to slow down. The perfect support dog; ‘just like Tucker was,’Charles recalled. 

The neighborhood park around the corner was their daily destination. Charlie’s incredibly precise internal alarm clock made it difficult to hide the fact it was time to leave. He was anxious to sniff the smells from here to there. And it’s almost 3:30 pm, and the bus will be arriving soon. They both didn’t want to be late. 

‘Charles is so predictable’, Charlie confirmed as they left the house each afternoon to go to the park, and bus stop. Without failure, they never got to walk down the entire driveway. There would always be something Charles forgot on the way out of the house. ‘Did you forget your watch, Charles?’ Charlie would make note of his naked wrist, ‘ Oh damn, he forgot it’. ‘House keys? Oh no, again he forgot it.’ Charlie was patient, barely. ‘Did he forget to lock the house again? Oh damn, not again. Will this walk ever begin.’ As Charles would run back to correct what he didn’t do, or collect what he forgot, Charlie would be left sitting on the driveway waiting. Charlie stayed.

‘We can’t be late. The school bus will be arriving soon, and the kids will be at the park in a few minutes. We need to be there to greet them.’ Charlie hoped his anticipation would somehow be felt by his human. ‘Please try to move a bit faster. We need to get there on time.’ Eventually, as their walk proceeded, Charlie stayed close to his human; while his head, independent of any purpose, became that erratic compass needle looking for its true north, the best smell.

‘Those way-points for Tucker’ Charles recalled. ‘He was always looking forward to seeing an open garage door that signaled free treats’ Charles smiled. Today, for Charles and Charlie, just getting to the park on time before the bus arrives was their only challenge. Those garage doors are all closed now. The neighborhood park had always been a favorite place to visit each day, just to sit on that wrought iron bench, daydreaming in the cool shade under the Live Oak. Charles did this many times a day with Tucker. While watching the clouds pass above him, Tucker would salvage the pellets left by the rabbits. By the time Tucker reached 14, eating too many of those droppings would make him very sick; but, they never missed a day at the park. Now, with Charlie, it’s like those days again, except it’s not to seek shade or to scavenge, their arrival wasn’t about dreaming what tomorrow would be like. This trip was all about meeting 2 children. As the twins departed from their school bus, Charles remembered the rest of that night at Perkins.

“Let’s call him, Charlie!”

“Charles, thank you for sharing this moment with us.” Travis spoke. “The kids told me that you had an amazing dog when you first moved here.”

“Yes, Tucker was truly a special animal.” Charles said with strong emotions and vivid memories that he still had for Tuck.

“So, I was thinking,” Travis paused so he could put together the right words the first time he asked, “I was thinking, we were thinking…” Travis shifted his head towards Sarah, “…that you would like to be a part of this dog’s life. I mean, I know the kids will love this dog, and Sarah and I will enjoy having it around, also. But we thought, that during the day, when the kids are at school and Sarah and I are working, this dog, Charlie, what a cool name, no? That Charlie could stay with you at your house. Just during the daytime. When the kids get home, they will pick him up and bring him home. The weekends Charlie will be with us and you won’t have to worry about him at all. What do you think Charles. Is this possible?”

To help confirm their respect and undeniable love for this old man, but what she believed got completely lost in her husband’s request, Sarah interjected.  “We wouldn’t ask you if we didn’t love you so much. You are so much a part of our family now, taking care of Charlie would be something we would love to be able to share with you.”

‘Damn. How did this happen to me? How did I not see this coming? Why would I want to complicate my life with a dog at my age? Oh, but it’s really their dog. They did sound sincere that they want me to be a part of their family. The kids like me. I know they weren’t part of this plan. Was I being used all along? Travis and Sarah wouldn’t have included me if they didn’t trust me. Right? And, damn it, no matter how this happened, the truth is that I will have people who need me again. At my age, how many more opportunities will I have to be needed again?’ Charles considered.

His silence seemed long, but he knew he didn’t take that long to realize that he did enjoy their company. The kids willingly wanted him to be a part of their lives. ‘Weigh all the options. Being annoyed, to lose the only companionship you now have. What’s it all worth?’ Charles looked up. Stared at Eli and Daisy. Smiled.

“OK. It sounds like a plan.” Charles agreed.

Another round of cheers. By this time this family plus one had outlived their Perkins welcome.⬆︎

If silence could be more silent.

Under the oak tree, Charles accepted that his private life had spun out of control. But he allowed it to happen. So be it. He had to admit that there was this opportunity for him to fit into their world as a well machined piece of a jigsaw puzzle. He willingly accepted it. 

The ritual was embedded in their routine, repeated every school day. Eli and Daisy would jump off the bus, as always, in unison from the second step. Charles and Charlie waited for them under that tree. Eli and Daisy would run to Charles and Charlie. Until he was officially passed on, Charlie sat close to Charles, wagging his tail so rapidly it created a breeze on Charles’s foot; the flapping tail caused Charlie’s rump to bounce up and down. Pure excitement to see his best friends again. Charles handed over Charlie’s leash to Eli. Eli took the leash from Charles. Both children wished Charles a “Thank you” and a “Goodbye.” And, at last, the three comrades walked home; Charlie gleefully following close behind his brother and sister. Charlie never looked back at Charles. Nor did Eli or Daisy. This “family unit” became routine. For the next few weeks, the daily Oreo and milk summits were put on hiatus. They will return, but now only on select weekends, when the family stayed home.

For Charles, it was the end of his day of dog sitting, leaving him to sit on the park’s wrought iron bench alone. He no longer filled his head with dreams and plans. Even his memories are not as clear as they once were. With no plans, dreams, or memories, Charles soon was bored, got up and walked home.

It was almost Charlie’s 7-month anniversary of sharing lives with so many loving humans. Life was really going so well for everyone, especially for Charlie. Eli and Daisy had a partner that wouldn’t leave their side, except when they were in school. Then there was this old man that cared for him. The old man did not spoil him like the kids did; undeniably, however, this old man was kind and there were a lot of walks to his favorite park not far from his home. 

Charles was slowly getting himself ready for bed; doing his nightly chores of locking up and turning off the lights. With Charlie so much a part of his life now, he was beginning to wonder if he could consider adopting his own dog. He didn’t stop those thoughts; allowing them to formulate and solidify into a working plan. ‘Maybe an older dog. One that was orphaned by an owner. I would hate to have a bereaved dog  find that its forever home would be a kennel. But definitely not a puppy. We could travel together. Leave behind what has little value, and find something new.’ He was certain that a dog Charlie’s age would be too young for him. Afterall, he was 88 years old. Would he still have the strength to walk around the corner to the park in another 3 years? He’ll sleep on it, and consider it again in the morning; with a fresh mind and a cup of coffee.

It was around 8 O’clock. Charles was moving himself into the bedroom. TV turned on. Some of his favorite sitcom shows were still being aired. He wondered if any of those actors are still alive. They have been entertaining him for well over three decades; without fail repeating their antics over and over; in an endless loop of recurrent adventures and stories. Charles related to these loops with his own existence. 

The sound of the doorbell broke his thoughts with a jolt of realty.

Noticeably with concern for his safety, he stood by the closed door and asked, nervously, who was there. “Hey, Charles. It’s Travis. I am so sorry to bother at this hour. I need you to do us a huge favor.”

‘Again?’ Charles hoped Travis won’t see that in his eyes when he opened the door.

He fumbled with the lock like an old person that he is. Blaming his ineptness due to a combination of unsettling concerns for his safety, unhappiness that he is getting older, that things are just more difficult to do now, that he is just so very tired, and realizing he is alone.

“Travis. Travis what’s wrong?” Charles looks at Travis then looks down and sees Charlie sitting by Travis’s feet; wagging its tail, mouth open, the tongue hanging out of its mouth, while acting as a downspout for the saliva dripping off of it. 

“Charles, we have a problem.  Eli is very sick.  He suddenly feels faint, and is unresponsive to us. He is so confused. Sarah and I want to take him to the ER as soon as possible. Please watch Charlie for us. I’m just not sure how long we will be there.” Travis tried really hard to keep his composure, but this was really difficult to do.

“Travis. Of course. Yes. Give me his leash, and go. I have everything I need for him here. Don’t worry about Charlie.” Charles’s level of concern rose to the same height as Travis. “What about Daisy? Do you want her to stay here?”

“No. Sarah and I at first thought she should, but she is so attached to Eli, it was so difficult not to agree with her; she belongs with Eli. Now more than ever. She will come with us.”

‘Maybe there was an alternative motive having me join them at the twin’s birthday party months ago. They needed to insure they had a pet sitter for the new dog they were about to bring into their home. And maybe, the fact that I was chosen was a matter of what made the most convenient day care arrangement to watch this dog, while everyone else had their lives with which to attend. But, look at me now. Look who they came to in an emergency. Look who they trusted; included in their life when tragedy falls.’ Charles’s justification was sound proof. He was convinced he has a good life now. He is not alone. He is needed. 

“Go. Take care of Eli.  Please give him my best to him; also, to Sarah and Daisy.” Charles took Charlie into his home. Travis left hoping to find a solution to this emergency.

After almost four hours of lab tests, needles and high-tech equipment probing and searching Eli’s body for answers; it was time to rest and wait for someone to give them the results.

A doctor finally walked into the cubicle where Eli and his family waited in silence. It wasn’t their family doctor, not at this hour. It was already on Sarah’s to do list first thing after getting home, to call the family doctor. Travis was sitting on one side of Eli’s bed, Sarah on the other side; she was holding Eli’s hand. Together they made the perfect bookends. Daisy sat on the bed with Eli; her back was leaning on the bed’s frame at the foot of the bed. She was facing Eli. Eli and Daisy just stared at each other; communicating, silently.  The Emergency Room Urgent Care doctor was young. He offered them a smile as he scanned the room’s occupants. ‘A close family, for sure,’ the doctor guessed. ‘It seems that they circled their wagons all around their most precious prize.’ 

The doctor’s attention was first on Eli, then the parents. Then back at Eli; he started talking to Travis and Sarah. He wanted them to understand the issue; about this boy between them. ‘Thirteen, the boy was old enough to know exactly what caused him to feel as sick as he did. Nothing will be private right now. Let this be a family gathering.’  

“Eli, I got all the test results back. Something that both the lab result support, and my support staff concur, Eli all the tests show that you have Diabetes. Type 1. The funny feeling you have in your legs is called neuropathy. What brought you in to the ER was something called Diabetes Mellitus. Your feet not working as they should be is called Diabetic Neuropathy.”  The doctor was sure he said it slowly enough so they could all absorb and interpret the information. He was ready for questions, and answers to be repeated. ‘I know it’s really early in the morning doc, but how about a little hand holding?’ Sarah thought. 

If silence could be more silent, it would have definitely reached that level at that moment, in that cubicle. They all looked at this doctor as a deer would stare into a bright light. Stuck in a paralyzing realization that their lives are about to change forever. 

The doctor continued, “So mom and dad, understand that this can be controlled, and successfully maintain. And with care, Eli can live a very long life. His neuropathy will most likely go into remission, or near remission, so hopefully he will have full use of his legs again. In the meantime, proper exercise, low impact, swimming is best, will help lessen its effects on Eli’s future mobility.  Your primary doctor will probably recommend physical therapy.” The doctor made it obvious that he was finished. He was ready to move to his next patient, next cubicle, in the Emergency Room. Unless Eli’s parents had questions. Which they did. But most of those just had him repeat what he already told them. He knew that this would happen. Sadly, ER doctors aren’t really trained to repeat and replay, so he cordially went over what he thought he already explained. Soon drawing an end to the session, the doctor wished them all well, signed the release so Eli can go home. Each of them overwhelmed and emotionally halted with anticipation of all the prescription instructions yet to be learned and followed, new routines and responsibilities, potential handicap challenges, and sadly, a quick look at a life that would radically change for each of them; differently.

Most people don’t win the lottery. This explains why the odds are usually against anyone from getting rich from their $2 investment are less than 1%. But a win in life’s big gamble of health and illness, the prize is almost always something we regret getting. In Eli’s case, what are the odds that his bout with Diabetes would also come with the rare condition of neuropathy.

It took time to learn his new routine of self-injection of insulin, and how to walk with a walker, then a cane. But he was a quick learner, and soon his modified life style moved on, as only chance would allow.  ⬆︎

I’ve always enjoyed their company.

Eli’s life, from this point, had an effect on almost everything it touched; as predictably as any designed domino course . Since he could no longer use the school bus, Sarah drove him to school. To do this, Sarah had to stop working full time; her boss was willing to have her work from home, for the time being. Daisy decided that she would continue to use the bus; her friends helped her make that decision. Eli and Daisy’s separation from each other was to be their first, but, from this point on, not their last. Daisy was coming home by herself in the afternoon, which also meant that meeting Charles and Charlie at the park was not happening. In the beginning, nothing changed. Charlie greeted Daisy at the park, and Charles would watch them disappear down the block to meet Eli at home. But Daisy was soon departing from the bus with a friend. Picking up Charlie was not in her plans, so after a while, it was mutually agreed that it would be easier for everyone if Charles brought Charlie to their home after school, when Sarah brought Eli home. Charlie was more Eli’s dog, anyway. The thrill of meeting an old man in the park with a dog was rapidly losing its appeal. Cookies and milk in the garage would also stop. In the beginning, Eli’s routines were okay for Eli. But Daisy didn’t create them, so there was no reason for her to encourage them to continue now that Eli has partially changed some of the scenery to this production.

‘Everything isn’t the same.’ Charles had enough experience with life’s cyclic effects on a person, not to be fooled, nor surprised, nor to think it would be any different this time around.  Although, he was hoping this time it would be that winning lottery ticket, knowing that the rewards would have been special, distinctive and unusual; but it wasn’t to be. One thing Charles was certain that he will never again hope any event, yet to happen in his life, would, could, ever be a part of a destiny. ‘Nature is incapable of planning anything.’ The little things that have changed in Charles’s life, he believes, will eventually go as flat as a freshly poured glass of beer will lose its froth after standing around long enough. 

Life will return to its routine for Charles, again. At his age, there isn’t much time left to redeem any of life’s not yet experienced aspirations. He was always a realist, more now than ever before. Yet for this one last time, he had believed, hoped, the options would have been tapered, generous, for his age now; maybe tailored to be a little more tolerant. But he was fooled to have believed otherwise. Unexpectedly, a young boy named Eli altered the pattern. But only for a short period of time. Choices, all kinds of possibilities, might have been better controlled if he had the stamina to see them through; and if he had more luck attached to them. But for Charles, he understood, ‘there will always be some alterations that will just be mandated by nature to find its own unexpected balance. Nothing is forever.’

“We thought it would be best, when school ends and the summer vacation begins, that we take a road trip to visit Sarah’s parents up north. They live in Vermont, and it will be more comfortable for Eli in the cooler weather; for all of us, I guess. With Sarah’s mom helping out with Eli, Sarah could find a more permanent, full-time job. Heaven knows we will need two incomes to support Eli’s new life style. In fact, Sarah’s father might be willing to hire her; his business is getting to be too much for him to do alone. Having Sarah there to take on some of the burden, back-office stuff, would be great for her, and a blessing for her father. Being an independent contractor, I know I can find work up there. Possibly even work for her dad, also. There’s talk that he may want to pass on the business to us. Since we will be living in her parent’s home, for a while, the finances will make it easier to take my time finding new accounts.” Travis was given all the time he needed for this explanation; Charles patiently listened. “Hopefully, by the end of the summer, I will have a better handle on where we need to go from there.”

Travis looked away from Charles’ stare. This was too much of a conclusion he was laying on this old man. He and Sarah absorbed him into their lives, and made him an honorary member of their family. They owed him more than a wave goodbye. Travis believed that they owed him at least an explanation. ‘He would understand; having lived through his own disappointments and personal change. He will understand,.’ Travis tried to  convince himself.

“So, we’re packing up for our trip. Eli and Daisy and Charlie will come over here, soon. They would like to say goodbye, too. Maybe have some milk and Oreo cookies for the memories. Would you be willing to do that for them? Would you be willing to have them over one more time before they leave for their trip?” Travis finally raised his glance and met the old man’s eyes, as Charles peered out from his heavily burdened eyelids, that barely allowed any more than a slit for Travis to see the old looking back at him.  

“Sure, that would be really nice. I’ve always enjoyed their company. We have shared so many wonderful stories and ideas. Saying goodbye is never easy. Most likely we’ll just sit, chat some small talk, and just let your trip happen.” Charles was sad. He added the comment said so many times in his past, said to so many people in his life, that it has become more then just a statement, but rather an actual event. “We won’t say goodbye. I hate goodbyes. We’ll just agree to save a date to see each other when you all return home.” For Charles, sometimes, events such as these, don’t have to happen to be an experience or consequence.  

Travis could see that Charles was disappointed. ‘Sarah should have been here with me.’ Travis thought. ‘Charles deserved that from her.’ But Travis understood the corner of hell Sarah was trapped into. She was never as resilient as he was. And moving back to her parent’s world was the last thing she wanted to accept. Both Travis and Sarah were in this stage of regret, and defeat. Most definitely they were both trying to master this sense of depression and grief hanging over them. And, adding this to Charles’s life, right now, was too much guilt for Sarah to bare. She’s counting on returning, making things go back to normal soon.  Charles missed saying goodbye to Sarah.

Trying not to be guilty of making statements that were similar to the outright lies he and his wife had laid out for their children to believe, fairy tales and myths, Travis found himself saying to Charles the same thing he told the kids last night. What he just knew in his heart was not possible. “We’ll be back in time for the new school session to start.” Travis added one last request of help from his old friend. “In the meantime, I have a company coming once a week to mow the lawn, and do odds and ends around the house. It would be great if you could let them know if you see anything that needs attending to. I’ll make sure this company will take care of it. Now don’t be crazy and think you can do it yourself. Just let them know and they will make sure it’s taken care of.”  Travis wanted Charles to feel comfortable with this arrangement; and maybe still feel like he was part of his family. ‘We’re not leaving you, Charles. And while we are gone, please continue to feel responsible and helpful like you have in the past.’ But both Charles and Travis knew, and shared that knowledge with their eyes, this was all a fabrication. Life as they understood it to be will be changed, different. 

“Thanks for trusting me, again.” Charles wasn’t sure if his words were coming off as being sarcastic. He just wanted to be as believable as Travis’s manufactured false reality. The two of them stood silent for a very long second. Then Travis tugged on Charlie’s collar with the leash, then turning to leave. Charlie changed position to follow Travis, but hesitated, tugged on the leash so he could sit in front of Charles and stared at his old friend one last time. Travis stopped, and accepted Charlie’s suggestion to offer a second more for gratitude and friendship. Charles bent down and cradled Charlie’s head between his hands; one under Charlie’s jaw, the other blessing the top between Charlie’s ears. 

“Charlie, you really refilled my heart with a love for dogs. I thought I would never feel that passion ever again. You are a good boy, Charlie. I know you will take really good care of Eli, and Daisy, too. I know she loves you, too. She just doesn’t show it as well as Eli. Eli needs your care and attention, Charlie. I know you can be as good as my Tucker was to me. Goodbye boy. I will miss you most.” Charles stood up, slowly and carefully retaining his balance as his blood returned from his head to the rest of his body. “Sigh” was loud and clear. Travis smiled, ‘Good bye old friend. Thanks for the care you gave my kids. I will always be in your debt.’

Travis and Charlie completed their walk down Charles’s driveway. Never looking back. Now they were in the street. And within a minute they were walking up their driveway, and into their home. Charles stepped back into his house, and closed his front door.

Oreos and milk were served on the bridge table that has been stored in the garage. Folding chair, three of them, were set up on three sides of the table; the side of the table facing the street was left unoccupied, as usual. This way, as it has always been in the past, all three participants will have a good view of an empty street. Charlie sat next to Eli, as was expected. 

Charles understood that this part of his life, flavored to taste by cookies and milk and decorated by two children, was a time to build new memories, and an event that he knew in his heart could not last forever. The story written by these three people and a dog was one of hope, dreams and wishes, willingly being shared between generations, and now is being despairingly released. 

Will anyone remember?

Eli updated Charles how his physical therapist is making him work harder than any gym coach he ever had. Daisy recalled her first school dance last week, and how she will be really upset if she missed out on any of the parties next year. All agreed that they were excited and nervous about this trip. For Eli and Daisy, it was a moment to reflect how they each got to this point in their lives. What it meant for them to leave their only home they knew. Daisy wouldn’t admit she was upset that Eli changed her life forever. Eli feeling guilty that this trip was due to him getting sick and becoming handicapped. 

Charles tried so very hard to show the children that this is how life proceeds, with or without anyone’s permission. And, trying to convince them that they were luckier and more fortunate than most children, having parents and grandparents willing to sacrifice for their welfare, was almost impossible to do.

They all agreed that they were too old to believe things will ever be the same. Change is out of their control.

“Goodbye.” “Goodbye.” “Goodbye.”  Their voices all blended as one.

“I will surely miss you both.”  “We will miss you very much.” 

“Keep in touch.”

“Take care of yourself.”  “Have a great summer.” 

“I can’t wait for us to see each other again.”  “I will always remember our cookies and milk.”

“I’ll see you soon.” 

The words were shared by everyone. It was really hard to tell who said what, and in what order. In fact, it would be totally acceptable to assume each of them just ended up harmonizing; in total accord with each other.  All three, as the twins faced away from Charles, and as Charles turned to go inside his house, started to cry; just a little bit. Their emotions from this separation just got to be too much to restrain. The tension was building  exponentially in each of them; from trying to peer into the future to see what was yet unpacked, for their separation from each other, for the distance not yet traveled, and just downright fear of the unknown. All of them, however, understood change, but they all refused to accept it. ‘We’ll be back, everything will be as it was.’ Inevitably, the common element, the unifying thread that bound them from the start, for these three people, it will be that moment in their future’s past, that will undeniably be the change that will brand them forever as individuals. 

.“Wait a second you two. I need to get something in the house. Won’t take but a minute.” Charles asked. Eli and Daisy dutifully stopped, and turned back to the open garage. They saw the last remnants of Charles as he entered his house.

Within that promised length of time, Charles had returned to the garage. He found, as he had expected, Eli and Daisy standing where he left them, and Charlie sitting between them. “Listen Eli, Daisy, I have something I would like you to have.” Charles handed a sealed envelope to both, somewhere in the middle of the twins. Eli took it, and turned to watch Daisy’s reaction. He saw that Daisy was okay that Charles gave him the envelop.

Charles continued with his instructions. “ But please don’t open it until that day when Charlie is no longer around. I want you to wait that long, because I want your memory of me to be just that, a memory.  Not something that you left, only days ago.”  ‘I could mail it to you, but I don’t think that will be possible’. Charles smiled quietly at his ability to foresee; his prophesy.

Charles continued. “It is important for me to give you this. I have no one else who knows me better, right now, than the two of you. There is nothing in this envelope that needs immediate attention, no money or anything precious nor valuable. It is, however, something I would like you to read years from now. I wonder if you two can do that for me.” Charles looked at them both for a hint of the smallest amount of understanding.

“Sure Charles. I can do that. I don’t know if Daisy can hold her curiosity that long,” Eli looked at Daisy and laughed.  “but I know I will do that.”. 

“Of course, I can do that. Especially if Eli holds on to it.”  Daisy laughed.  Eli and Charles offered their shared smile of amusement and agreement. 

They hugged. All three together, as a group of partners that they were, at one time in their lives. Charlie whimpered, then barked. ⬆︎

Once vibrant, once bold, now cast aside

The trip up to Vermont was incredibly long; for Eli and Daisy, it seemed completely intolerable. All this change because Eli needs someone to watch him? For Charlie, it was a grueling exercise of patience which he was never trained to have. Travis and Sarah attempted to entertain the kids as best as they could, but by the second day on what appeared to be the same road traveled for hundreds of miles, it was still bordered by the same boring landscape, as it passed by the car. Life and time, in this car, seemed to stand still. The twins never thought for a moment that this highway would not be a two-way conduit from point A to point B and back to A again; it had to return to point A.  The possibility that this was to be their trip to their next home was the farthest from their reality.  So, for each of them, a year later, were given the impossible task of trying to remember where they came from, who they were, and what they will become, had now brought their future to be their present.

Eli sat in his assigned window seat behind the driver, no longer counting how many cows he saw grazing in the fields. He hadn’t said much since they last left their home. ‘Mom couldn’t work anymore because she needed to take care of me. This is all my fault. None of this would have happened if I didn’t end up in the hospital. What must Daisy be thinking right now. I know she must be really pissed at me. All her friends were left behind. And nothing seems to be ahead of her. She will never talk to me again. Life sucks.’ Eli sat back against the car seat. He stopped looking at the fields through the car’s tinted windows. Meadows that were filled with a menagerie of farm animals and interweaving patches of trees and thorny bushes which ruled the boundary lines of the next field; Eli saw none of this now. He closed his eyes, prayed hard that ‘this nightmare will all be over soon.’ He wanted ‘life to be normal again. The way it was.’ In his young heart he knew it wouldn’t, couldn’t, ever be the same. The event happened, and change followed. Everything has altered; and it was because of him. Eli, as young as he was, asked the question,  ‘will, can we change, too?’ He held on to Charlie, as if he were on a fast carnival ride, and Charlie was his security belt. Charlie felt Eli’s sense of urgency, and he leaned into Eli to support him. 

Vermont was a sanctuary; they all knew it. Although no one spoke about it. But how long will it be before this place becomes home. If the kids were younger, it would have been easier for Sarah and Travis to inform their children that their trip to Vermont was not just a temporary move. Sarah needed more help than any friend she may have had could afford to give her. She needed her mom. Her mom, who carried a lot of guilt for making her only daughter move so far away in the first place, accepted this role willingly; sad that her grandson was ill, thrilled that her family is back home. Having her daughter home was nice; she could watch the children, and give her daughter the time to find herself and a career. This became her only job. And Sarah’s mother was happy again. Travis really was okay with all of this. He knew he needed to get away from his job in Lower Topia. He was beginning to believe it was a dead-end job, with no future, growth, and most importantly, no prospective wealth attached to it.  He knew he needed to find a place where he could make a decent living, and possibly advance in responsibility. Lower Topia wasn’t where either Sarah nor Travis would find their prosperity. Happiness is bound to also happen, hopefully. Eli became the perfect excuse to move. But now they have to deal with the guilt of tearing their children from the only home they knew; and not use Eli’s illness as the excuse for their move. ‘Eli should not be, cannot be, the blame for this move.’ Sarah thought. Sarah’s father offered Travis a position in his factory, supervisor; which came with all the perks of being family. A firm believer in the bonuses of nepotism, Travis will become very satisfied with this move. Daisy was by herself with this transformation, a new life. She was really happy where she lived; established friends, planned parties. Moving to Vermont couldn’t have come at a worse time in her life. She did love her twin brother, and she knew this wasn’t his fault, but this move was all because he got sick. She was having a really tough time separating all the pieces to this puzzle without coming up with it was all due to an illness. Sarah thought, ‘I need to get all this settled soon. I can’t let this move divide this family.’ 

As summer came to a end, Travis and Sarah sat down with their children, and tried to put everything into some neat package for everyone to accept their move. It was also decided that they will start to look for a new home, here in Vermont, to call their own. A town to set up their lives again. And move on. Lower Topia will be a part of their history, but it must not ever define who they are today. 

“I really feel so bad that we just up and left Charles like that. That day Daisy and I said goodbye, we didn’t really say goodbye. We left it that we will be coming back. We lied to him.” Eli was adamant that when his father goes back to Lower Topia, he and Charlie will join him. “I will miss that time from school, but I have to go back to Lower Topia to say goodbye to Charles the right way; Charlie does too.” Eli added, “It’s too late to do this with email, mom, dad. I just never kept in touch with him the last few months. I always thought we were returning. And now, now that it is a fact that we are staying here, I can’t just email him 4 months later, and say goodbye.”

His parents agreed. Travis rented a SUV for their trip back to Lower Topia. Sarah and Daisy made a list of personal things that they want Travis and Eli to bring back with them; things that the movers shouldn’t pack. Charlie felt the excitement to returning to his park with his human again. 

Three decades have passed since he said goodbye to his old friend.  Eli, now 43, had survived his youth. Insulin is an accepted routine, as is his ability to walk unassisted.  He became a popular author; he especially enjoys  writing poetry. For this, Charles had remained his mentor throughout his life. Eli knew that. During their conversations, served with Oreos and milk, Charles shared the many poems and stories he had written. Charles encouraged Eli to share his writings as a part of their conversations. Eli willingly complied. Daisy enjoyed listening to her two favorite people perform as she became their most loyal audience. If Eli was in the mood, before they went to sleep, he would write lyrics to narratives that Daisy enjoyed reciting the next day in the garage. Daisy would practice reading his words during lunch and study hall the next day. Then later that afternoon, she would perform for Charles the words that her brother wrote for her.  Eli and Daisy brought a different type of light to the bridge table that was set up in Charles’ garage. And until Sarah called the kids home, their performances created laughter, and joy into Charles’s little world in Lower Topia. Those were wonderful days that Eli remembers most of all, as he sits by his big living room window overlooking his backyard, watching a world of changing seasons perform for him, outside his home, in the wilderness of Oregon. 

 Of the styles and topics, Eli enjoyed writing, what made him so well-known as an accomplished author, were his children’s books. Of these, he has written well over a dozen so far; with many projects outlined and saved for another day.  Eli has been well received by educators, parents, but mostly by his young fans. Eli was never really fond of playing sports, or playing hide and seek with friends, but he did enjoy wandering in unexplored places with kids his age. As an author he wanted to be best known for promoting hope and promise; to persevere, to endure life’s detours with the help of one’s tenacity, fortitude, and dedication to a dream. 

He decided that his next book would be dedicated to the old man he met on the way; a person, as Eli described as someone who gave me the time that had been reserved for no one else. 

On the dedication page of the book not yet published, Eli will write to Charles. 

Once vibrant, once bold, now cast aside,
In the shadows of youth, we reside.
Our stories whispered, our voices lost,
In a world that counts youth as its cost.

We were the dreamers, the ones who dared,
But now we’re overlooked, no longer cared.
Our wrinkles tell tales of battles won,
Yet in this race, our race is done.

Forgotten in corners, left to rust,
Our worth measured by numbers, lost in the bust.
But listen close, hear our silent plea,
For within these aged hearts, still beats the sea.

We may be old, but we’re not done yet. There’s fire within us, you can bet.
So let us rise, reclaim our place. For even in twilight, there’s still grace.

We’re the keepers of wisdom, the holders of truth,
In a world obsessed with fleeting youth.
So, cherish us, embrace our worth,
For being old is not a curse, but a rebirth.

I consider. As I sit in the dimly lit corner of my study, surrounded by shelves filled with dusty books and faded photographs, my mind drifts back to a time long ago. I close my eyes, trying to conjure up the memories of my friendship with the old man, who has been a guiding light in my life. Images flicker in my mind like fragments of a forgotten dream: walks in the park, animated conversations over steaming cups of tea, moments of shared laughter that seemed to stretch into eternity. Decades have passed since our paths last crossed, and the passage of time has blurred the edges of those cherished moments. Yet, with the haze of fading memories, one thing remains crystal clear – the profound impact that the old man had on my life, shaping me into the person I am today. And though the specifics may fade with time, the essence of our friendship endures, a timeless bond that transcends the boundaries of memory.

In the heart of the city, where shadows dance.
There’s a tale of friendship, a youthful chance.

A young boy’s eyes gleam with innocence bright,
While an old man walks, weary from life’s fight.

Their paths collide in an unexpected way,
A bond forms between them, day by day.
The boy’s laughter echoes in the old man’s soul,
As they share stories, making broken hearts whole.

Through the seasons they wander, hand in hand,
Two souls intertwined, across the land.

The boy learns wisdom from the old man’s gaze,
While the old man finds joy in the youthful craze.
Together they conquer fears, break down walls,
Their friendship a beacon, as destiny calls.

For age is but a number, in their shared space,
In the embrace of friendship, they find grace.

So let the world witness, this beautiful blend,
Of a young boy’s spirit and an old man’s mend.

For in their bond, there’s a lesson to learn,
That true friendship knows no age, no concern.

To Charles

You stopped what you were doing, and gave me your undivided attention.
I was that boy who had to say hello. But I never had a chance to say goodbye, 

You will always be in my thoughts

Eli

With regards from Daisy.

His dream was to become a writer. It was a clear choice for him to make. Colleges that Eli wanted to attend were centered around their journalism programs; choosing literary as his primary goal. Combining his desire to leave his family, while finding a place that offered as much nature as Vermont had given him, it was a easy decision that Oregon became his focus. ‘Let’s find out why Charles spoke of Oregon often as his next and last move.’ He applied to the University of Oregon, and they accepted his application into their school of Journalism. Eli knew that this perfect plan would come true. After graduating, Eli decided to live there permanently. Eli recalled his friend describing what his life would have been like in Oregon. It became his purpose as well. “…all I would need is a big window overlooking a pretty forest or stream. Just watch things change over the course of a year of seasons; it would be enough to pique my interest, keep my mind from going stale.’ Eli hasn’t ordered it yet, but it has been on his bucket list, to go a local diner and order, ‘a plain omelet, with tomatoes instead of potatoes, a cup of coffee and some wheat toast.’ The decision was very difficult for Travis and Sarah to accept, but they also knew he would be happiest where he can lead his own life. Eli would be happy. With his extensive traveling, Eli also found he wasn’t made for marriage; his only single attempt failed miserably. But he knew he would survive very well without his own family. After Charlie died, he adopted two cats; they also loved sitting by that big window watching the seasons pass.

Rewarded with a successful life, but with less global fanfare than Eli, Daisy spent her past thirty years as a middle school teacher. Science was her choice of topics to teach; Earth Science was her specialty. Her son once asked her why she chose to become an educator. She said, “…to find the same joy and reward as did an old man I knew a long time ago. He once lived on the same block as me and my family.”  She thought for a moment, then added,  “Your uncle, Eli, and I used to join him every afternoon after school in his garage.” She thought carefully about the image she just created for her son, who looked at her with sudden concern and suspicion. “Oh, silly, I was with Eli.” Sarah responded to the well-intended glare. “The garage door was always open, and we just sat and told each other stories of what happened in school that day; he would share great stories about his own experiences as a teacher; like me, in a middle school.” She laughed. “He used to tell us of his amazing career as a teacher, same subject and grade that I teach now.” Sarah has two children, twins. Andrew was her constant companion, his brother, Jack, although as loyal, was far more independent; like his mother.  Jack is a wanderer; Daisy claimed he got those genes from his uncle. She found her life on Long Island. Her home, on the east end of the island, where her husband works, was so much like her home in Vermont. It was closer to her parents than Eli’s home. Her traditions and family values might have been a product of her life in Vermont, but Lower Topia was where many wonderful memories were still kept. Daisy was happy.

And, so was Eli.⬆︎

‘What? What Dad?’

“But was it wise to let the kids go to this old man’s house without you. I mean, in the beginning Eli just went by himself. What made you think this was a good idea. You hear every day about kidnapping, molestation; you know all those ugly things that old people inflict on young children.” Travis’s mother-in-law was upset about the stories her two grandchildren told her. Serving them cookies and milk one afternoon made Eli and Daisy reminisce about those afternoons they spent with Charles. Eli was by far the most excited to retell the stories to  his grandmother of about their time spent sharing stories and listening to poems written by their friend Charles. 

As much as Travis and Sarah, tried to convince Sarah’s parents that Charles was not that type of person, they knew it was a difficult argument to support. They did accept the fact that, with today’s mindset,  it was an easy stereotype to make; that Charles could have easily been mistaken for a predator of children. “He is a wonderful person, who happens to live alone, Offering young children some cookies and milk when they came home from school seemed the perfect thing for them to do while talking about their day in school.” But Travis paused for a moment, and admitted, “Maybe it wasn’t the most perfect scenario to make for anyone who didn’t know Charles to think otherwise.” Travis confessed. Sarah agreed with him as she smiled. Sarah couldn’t help but add, “It was a bit risky for me to assume otherwise, but he had such a wonderful reputation. It was difficult to think of him as anything other than a good friend.” Charles was special. Sarah knew that. Supporting her husband, she added, “Mom, I guess it’s easy to misunderstand, but he was a special person that the children just fell in love with. We, Travis and me, are guilty of promoting and encouraging this relationship. But we both felt we made the right choice. Charles was a very special person. And, when Eli first got sick, he was always there to support us, and keep Eli company while he got better.” Sarah paused, with Travis immediately adding, “It was the toughest thing we had ever asked Eli and Daisy to do; to leave Charles behind like that. We knew coming up north, to you and dad, was the best decision we could have made, but it was also the worst decision at the same time. The children were devastated. It took a long time to get used to not having him around. I know this was also true for Charlie, as well.”

As anyone would have attested to, as you counted the daily sunrises and sunsets, summer would pass as quickly as any 60 days could have. Although Travis and Sarah had talked about this a while ago, it was time to  finalize those decisions which would make Vermont their permanent home. So many choices and options to be picked, all needed to be  made in such short period. One more trip to Lower Topia. Sarah would stay behind with Daisy. Their new life required special attention to those things that were necessary for their new home.  Going back to Lower Topia was also necessary; being there in person very important. You can remote your choices to a point. Travis was to have the company of Eli and Charlie; his son had insisted that he allow them go with him. Eli needed to see his friend one more time; and he believed so did Charlie. Arrangements were made, before they left, to meet the company that will pack up their home and ship everything to Vermont. They will only take those items everyone had decided were too important or precious to be brought home by anyone else then Travis and Eli. Lists were made; Sarah gave hers to Travis, and Daisy gave her list to Eli. While there, it was also important for Travis to decide which real estate agent to hire to sell their home. Those to be interviewed were first picked as a result of conversations via FaceTime. Travis was old school, however, and wanted to see the agents in person before he made his choice. Sarah would give Travis that responsibility, but of course, he will call her to confirm. In this active market, as long as they got their profit, it didn’t really make too much of a difference to whom they would give the commission. 

‘What will I say to Charles. How do I tell him I will never be coming back. Mom and Dad would never let me fly there alone. How do I put this memory of Charles into my past? I will miss him a lot. I’ve missed him all summer. I’ll ask Dad to buy some Oreos and milk. My turn to set up the table so we can chat. That will be nice Charlie and I will have plenty of time to spend with Charles. I know he will enjoy the time. Dad will be very busy speaking with people. Maybe two or three days before we will be driving back to Vermont. My home now.’ Eli was busy planning. 

Travis rented an SUV for the drive there and back. It was much cheaper than airfare, besides Charlie would have been excluded; coming home they would use the space for the personal items on those prepared lists. Passing the same fields, cows and groves of trees, but now in the opposite direction; offering both voyagers reasons for their expectations. ‘I’ve left him alone all summer. No emails. No calls. What makes you think Charles will want to spend time with me again?’

It was past midnight when Travis, Eli, and Charlie finally pulled up the driveway of their Lower Topia home. Travis felt like he is home. But just for a moment. That feeling left as soon as he realized all the arrangements and packing that was ahead of him for the next few days. He gently touched Eli’s shoulder. Eli awoke staring at a home he hasn’t seen in what felt like forever. Strange feeling. Maybe a dream. The neighborhood, his street, was asleep. As soon as the car’s engine was turned off, Travis immediately went to the back of the SUV; anxiously checked the cooler to make sure Eli’s insulin was still being chilled. He had Eli’s doctor’s name with him just in case he needs a new prescription, or worse. Eli has been stable since they first left almost four months ago. He still walks with a cane, but the doctors up north all believe he will regain full use of his legs in a couple of years.

Stretching. Travis asked Eli to take Charlie on a “…quick walk so he can relieve himself after the long ride.” Next set of instructions for Eli, “Then go inside, and get ready for a quick nap. We have so much to do before the first of the Realtors, and moving company reps come here.” While Eli and Charlie were to take a walk down the street, Travis unlocked the front door of their home. He entered that home that was about to be abandoned again by its family; it gave Travis an unwelcomed feeling. Travis sighed. 

Eli put Charlie’s collar on him, attached the hook of the leash, and preceded to walk down the block towards Charles’s home. It was very dark tonight. Eli makes a quick comparison, ‘Up there are street lamps that keep the streets well lite during the night time. With only lampposts in the front yards down here, offering the only light, this street is darker and more mysterious than I remember it to be. Tonight, its filled with shadows. Great scene for a book,’ planned Eli.  Of what Eli was able to see, Charles’s home had the appearance of ‘being definitely asleep. More asleep than ever before.’ With all the blinds are shut, ‘the house just looks so much darker than it ever did before’. Eli added, ‘I don’t ever remember his house to be so completely closed up at night. Like it is now. Every window that I see has its blinds totally shut. Why is it so closed up.?’

‘Charles never shut all the blinds like they are now. Charles always told me that in the morning, with the first signs of sunrise, before he got out of bed, he loved seeing the sun’s rays come through all the windows. With the blinds closed as they are now, Charles will never get the light from morning sun coming into the house, like it should be.’ Eli felt the inside of his body becoming unsteady. Charlie whimpered; he crouched on the grass across the street from Charles’ home, just starring at the garage in which he loved to hang out. Eli knew that ‘Charles’s house is just not normal.’

Charlie peed. Eli was getting anxious. He needed to wait till daylight to find out how Charles is doing. That won’t happen while he stood outside Charles’s home at night. He’ll go home now, find the bed he hasn’t slept on for months, and pray that it will help relax him. He needed to sleep. He was so tired. Charlie followed him home; he was happy to smell those wonderful smells he has missed so much. When Eli first walked into his old house, he found his father sitting quietly staring at the walls, the furniture. Why was his father just staring? 

“Dad? Everything okay?” Eli wanted the answer to be ‘yes’. He needed some sense of security after seeing Charles’s home looking like no one lived there. Eli needed his father to help give him some sense of normalcy that this trip seems to be taking away from him.

“Yes, Eli. Everything is good. Everything is exactly where we left it four months ago. I really didn’t expect it to be otherwise. Our friends, here, have been watching the house for us while we are away.” Travis was trying to sound more relaxed than he was. “I’ve got so much to do in the next couple of day. I hope you and Charlie can keep yourself busy while I take care of things.” Travis spoke to Eli with patience and gave his son a great deal of credit before he actually earned it; ‘Eli will do great while I’m working. He’s a good boy.’

“Sure Dad. This won’t be a problem. I have my friends to reach out to. Daisy actually gave me a bag of letters she wrote that we wants me to give to some of her friends here. So, I have lots to do myself. I’ll take care of Charlie, totally.”  Eli had just one question to ask his father before they all went to bed.

“Dad, one thing. While I was walking Charlie just now, I walked up to Charles’s house. Every window was completed closed up with blinds totally shut. I mean, that’s not how Charles would leave his house at night. When Daisy and I would catch the school bus in the morning, before Charles was up, we always saw Charles’s blinds open, in the morning. It meant that they would have been also open at night. I know this, because I asked him about this once. I just have that feeling something is different there. In Charles’s house.” Eli voice was a bite urgent. There was enough urgency, Travis told his son to get ready for bed; he’ll go over to Charles’s house now to check it out himself. He’ll come back to report what he found.

“Thanks Dad.”

Travis came home within a few minutes. Eli was sitting on the edge of his bed waiting for the report from his father.

“Eli. You are right. Every window is shut tight. I walked around both sides of the house. Every window has their blinds closed tight. But, it kind of makes sense, Eli.” Travis stopped talking. He was trying to find the right words, the best way to tell his son what else he found out when he visited Charles’s house. Eli sat still. He could not take his eyes off of his father. He knew from his face, his father had more to tell him. Eli’s heart starting beating fast. ‘What? What Dad?’

“Eli. On the front yard I saw a real estate sign in the grass.” Travis paused.  He knew this might not tell his son everything he needs to know. He explained, “Eli. On the front yard of Charles’s house is a For Sale sign. Charles’s house if for sale. Or with all the blinds closed as they are, it could also mean that Charles’s house has been sold. And Charles is no longer in the house.” Travis had nothing more to say. He knew he had said enough for his son to absorb right now.

“I don’t know any more then you do Eli, right now. We just never communicated with him all summer. I have no clue where Charles is right now. We need to wait till tomorrow, later today, only a few hours from now. As luck would have it, the name of the real estate broker is the same company that I will be seeing tomorrow, later today. Different agent, but same company. I’ll ask him for answers. We’ll get to the bottom of this. Promise.” Travis saw his son was very worried what all of this meant; what it could be telling him about his friend.

The real estate agent was completely lost for any answers about the owner of that house. Eli revisited the home later that day with the sun up and shining as it did when he last lived here. He confirmed his worst thoughts, and his father’s report from a few hours ago, that every single window, back, front, both sides, had the blinds completely shut; boarded up like any typical abandoned home. Charles’s house must be empty. Charles’s was not there. Eli knocked on both doors, and most of the windows he was able to reach. Not a sound, not a single response to his inquiry. The house was empty. Charles was gone. 

The real estate agent returned later that day to give Travis the listing paperwork. He reported to them that after his phone call to his office, his was able to update Travis and Eli about Charles’s home.  “I asked the manager in my office to reach out to the agent whose name is on that yard sign. The only information she could give me was the house is now sold. There was a closing last week. Something about that there was a power of attorney for the seller involved in the sale. That’s all I have at this time.” He would try to get more information about the location of the seller of this home. But right now, his priority is to get Travis’s home actively listed on the MLS. He’s been around long enough to remember this was once a highly desirable block to live on; something about friendly neighbors. ‘Doesn’t seem that overly different from any other streets now. I wonder what made it so special?’

The listing is now active. Everything was in motion to move on. Travis was beginning to see the end of this part of his life come to a close. 

Their real estate agent finally was able to add new information about Charles’s home. “From the records that the office manager reviewed with me, this home was sold remotely. That means the either the sellers or buyers weren’t present at the Closing; that all their paperwork was signed prior to the Closing day, possibly from somewhere other than here. The office manager confirmed it was the Seller who wasn’t present, and was the one who had a person acting as the Power of Attorney signing for him. Everything would have been notarized that it was being signed by a legal representative.”  The real estate agent was sounding a bit like a textbook, but Eli needed more information; information that his father, or the agent could tell him. How is this possible that Charles just disappeared. Didn’t anyone notice him leave?

“According to our office manager, it appears that the seller wasn’t present.” The agent wanted this to finish his report about the house across the street, but Travis interrupted.

“What are you saying, that Charles is no longer here?” Travis wanted to ask if that meant that Charles was dead, but really tried not to use the word, and found ‘no longer here’ was a softer way of saying the same thing. Travis looked at Eli.

Frustrated with trying to be careful with his description, and for not describing it as it actually was, he repeated the question. “Are you saying that someone with a power of attorney had to sign the papers because the owner died?” Travis always needed the truth to be raw and honest. He looked at Eli. He saw Eli started to cry. Tears just started rolling down his son’s cheeks uncontrollably. Charlie whimpered when he sense Eli’s sorrow. But Travis was glad he was able to get that word out. Say it now while it is part of an inquiry, rather than break this news to his son when they were alone.

“I don’t know sir. I really can’t tell you if the owner is dead or not. Having someone else sign papers in a sale could mean so many different things. Like any Trust, if the Executor to that Trust can prove that the owner of the home is incapable of signing the necessary paperwork themselves, then they have the power to do it for the owner. They are, in a sense, the owner themselves. I just don’t know, and the office staff hasn’t given me any answer greater than what I just shared with you.”

For a part of that day, Eli and Charlie just hung out in front of Charles’s home. Shuttered windows, closed garage door. Travis had to go back to his house; more people are coming today. He left Eli and Charlie sitting on Charles’s front lawn. ‘Just four months ago I left. What could have happened in those four months to make this be true. Is Charles dead? Really dead?’ Eli tried to make sense of this tragedy. Nothing helped. He called his mom, and told her. Daisy was next to her, Sarah put Eli on speaker. Daisy cried. Sarah allowed Eli to feel her sadness. Comfort so far away was so hard to do. Then silence. What more can any of them say. ‘Where is this man who became a part of our lives? Charlie wouldn’t have been a part of our lives if Charles wasn’t there to help watch him during the day. So many things would have been so different if he hadn’t met Charles.’ Eli cried silently. 

It was the next day that a real estate agent came to their home. He knocked on the door. Travis, Eli and Charlie were there to meet him. The agent introduced himself to Eli who had opened the door first; followed by Travis and Charlie. He was the agent who sold the home across the street. 

The agent was holding a bird feeder.

“I’m sincerely sorry, but we have had no luck in confirming anything new regarding the owner of that house, about your friend who lived there.  All we do know is that his children had an executed Deed of Trust. The owner’s children never came to Lower Topia. They were not able to make the trip. So, they did all the transactions remotely. We’ve reached out to them to give us any update they could regarding the owner of the house. We have not heard a word from them. However, there was a letter from the owner. It was found on the top of the folder that contained copies of the transaction.  The letter was in an envelope with instructions written on it to read it after the Closing. I guess your inquiry had us do just that. We’re sorry about this oversight.  In any event, the letter requested that a bird feeder that was left in the garage be given to a boy named Eli, who lives here. The letter added, that the boy would know where he was to put this feeder. It was suggested, in the note, that the boy was right, and for the boy to put it in the back yard of his house.” The agent placed the bird feeder on the ground in front of Eli. “Are you Eli?” Eli nodded that he was. The agent handed him the envelop with a letter inside. It was written by Charles.

Paperwork for packing up the house was signed. Paperwork for shipping the home’s belongings up to Vermont was signed. Promises made that their home in Lower Topia would sell quickly. Their car was full of personal items that the family wanted Travis and Eli to bring home. It now included a bird feeder. It was time to say their last goodbye. The few days they were there, in this quiet and friendly neighborhood, where they lived, would be part of a memory. Eli felt empty. It was to be a fact that there would never be any event in his entire life, from this point on, that would make Eli feel as empty, so totally spent of all emotions, so totally full of unresolved, unanswered questions, as these last few days. A chunk of Eli’s life gone. The drive home, to Vermont, was in total silence. Travis allowed Eli to grieve for as long as it took, as they drove back to their family. ⬆︎

“Please open this after Charlie is no longer here.“

It was time for Eli to call Daisy. “Hey Daisy. It’s time, you know. My annual pilgrimage back home. Are you ready for me to visit? I figure, as always, I’ll stop by mom and dad’s place first. Then rent a car and drive down to the Island to see you guys. Selling grandpa and grandma’s old house was a good decision. It’s an old home, to continue to rent it could be problematic with all the repairs an old home would need. How are you feeling about that decision? I know you had much more fond memories of that place than I did.” 

“Oh, I get it. It’s okay. I have so much to do, that in reality, I never had more than a couple of weekends a year to visit it.  Besides, it’s not the same without grandma’s cookies warming up the home with that amazing aroma.” Daisy loved her grandparents. And missed them when they died a few years ago. But she has a wonderful career now, great kids, and a loving husband. Her life turned out okay. And she is especially pleased that her brother had survived his bout with Diabetes. The world seemed balanced in Daisy’s eyes.

Eli was excited about seeing everyone again. He loves Oregon, would never want to live anywhere else. He remembers how Charles used to talk about Oregon all the time. ‘It was, how did Charles say it, on my bucket list of places to visit, and maybe even live there.’ Eli closed his eyes, and tried to remember what he looked like; the garage, the bridge table with cookies and milk, three chairs, a dog, and an old man. ‘I’ll find that box of pictures I have of him. Maybe I’ll bring them with me so Daisy can share them with me. Pictures of us all. Sitting in his garage with the Oreos placed in the center of the bridge table that Charles set up, waiting for us to get off the bus. Pictures of Charlie waiting for us, too. Oh, Charlie, I miss you most of all. I’ll find those pictures, after I finish talking with Daisy.’

His neighbor promised to visit his cats a couple of times a day, and make sure the bird feeder, in the front of the house, is kept full of seed while he was gone. 

Everyone looked forward to Eli’s annual visit. Travis and Sarah have both retired a while ago. They sold Sarah’s father’s business and made a nice profit. Their retirement now secure, they were wondering if they should spend their last years in Vermont or move. Maybe move closer to Daisy. It would make Eli’s visit easier in the long run. Besides, it’s Daisy who has their grandchildren. They know their children would never move back to Vermont.

“It’s really great to see you again Eli.” Daisy was flanked by her family. Eli traditional trip was really important to her.  It gave her reasons for her remember her youth, her friends, and an old man that her brother liked so very much.

If it’s one thing that Charles believed, ‘people only recall, reminisce about events, individuals, things that they want to remember. It made no difference who was being remembered, as much as it mattered who was doing the remembering.’Charles told this to anyone willing to listen; that believing this will serve as a reminder of the relative insignificance of anyone’s actions or events in the grand scheme of time. It can help people ‘prioritize their concerns and focus on what truly matters in the long run, rather than getting caught up in trivial matters or temporary setbacks.’

Charles always wondered whether he would be just ‘a trivial event in anyone’s life’.  Eli wonders this, too. ‘Will anyone feel my existence after I leave?’

If nobody called him, remembered him, because reaching out was not part of their priority, then what did he accomplish? Eli knew Charles thought about this every day. He welcomed Eli and Daisy to be a part of his daily life; and their dog Charlie. They made him believe he was a complete person again. But it was much too late, when they arrived in his garage, into his life. When they left, Charles realized that he was just wrong. Although he did appreciate Eli and Daisy’s initial impact on his life, he knew they had to grow on their own. He met them too late in his life to make it permeant.

“So, before I left home, I had remembered we used to have snack with an old man, after school, in our Lower Topia home. Do you remember?”  

“Yes Charles. You made friends with him. He lived a few houses down the street from us?” Daisy said. She served coffee. 

“Dad and mom got us a dog for our birthday. We went to dinner when they told us we would be able to get one the next day.” Eli smiled.

“Charles was invited to join us. I always felt, to this day I believed, mom and dad had this old man join us, not because he became our friend, but because they needed help watching this dog during the day.” Daisy replied.

“Yes. I agree. I knew that then. I always wanted to ask mom and dad about that, but never felt I wanted to know. I wanted to believe that Charles was invited to dinner that night because he was my friend. But how could an old man become a friend that close in such a short period of time.” Eli felt he finally was able to share this with his sister.

“I think Charles knew that, Eli. I remember the look on his face when dad told us we would be able to pick a dog to take home. He looked a bit surprised when he was included in a surprise, one he wasn’t prepared to be a part of.” Daisy said.

“Well, anyway, whether or not Charles was ready to be adopted along with that dog, he was sincere with his friendship with us. He was very loyal and caring and responsible. I did enjoy the time we had with him. Charlie loved him, too.” Eli continued. “So, Daisy, I was thinking a lot about Charles lately. Remembering as much as I could about those days in Lower Topia.” 

Eli continued.  “Daisy, do you remember Charles had given us an envelope that day we came to say goodbye? When we were leaving to go to Vermont.”

“I do. Until now, Eli, I totally forgot all about it. But I do remember it. He gave it to you. But I remember you looked at me for approval; that he gave you the letter. He loved you, Eli.”

“Yeah, I remember that, too. But before I left to come here, it was also the first time that I remembered that letter he gave me; us. It took a while to find the box that I put that envelop in. But I found it.” 

It became a quiet moment with Daisy, as he dug through a box. A box of memorabilia he saved for so many decades. Carried it with him from home to home. After they both fondly reviewed each of the pictures that were in this box,  Eli removed an envelope, and placed it on the table that was between himself and Daisy.

It was still sealed; it had instructions written by Charles over 30 years ago. 

“Daisy, please open it. I would like you to read it. Read it like you used to read the lyrics I wrote for you back then. Would you?” Eli asked.

Daisy took the envelop, carefully opened it as if it would crumble within her grasp; its age represented how delicate its history was to her and her brother. She unfolded the papers that she removed from the envelop. She read the letter, as if she would have read any narrative that was written for her decades ago. 

On the envelop was written:

Please open this after Charlie is no longer here.

Then Daisy read the enclosed letter:

Dear Eli and Daisy,

It’s been a long time since we last shared milk and Oreos, and since we last talked about the things that made our day special. If you held to your promise, Charlie is no longer with us. I know you miss him, as I have missed all of my wonderful four-legged companions with whom I have shared my home. Memories help to heal our saddened hearts. 

In the short time we had to get to know each other, I hope that over the decades that have followed, our memories of each other will have been sustained, that our friendship for each other will remain intact. Friendship was never meant to be stationary; it travels regardless of where we end up. So, with that thought, I hope you have both found your path. I prayed that your journey up north offered you the thrill of wonderful adventures and new experiences. With a future that was always promised to you. 

We must always believe that change may not be what we plan, but change is something we must rely on to make our future more rewarding. With that, I wish you only happiness, health, and time to spend it together. Right now, as I write to you, I am sitting and watching the birds eat the food that I have offered them from my bird feeder. By the way, I decided to follow the advice of a wise young man; I placed it in the back yard. Each bird seems to remain an individual while finding comfort in being in company of their flock. I’ve truly enjoyed and honor the friendship you have both offered to me. I hope that I was able to do the same. I will always value our time together. And, I want to thank you for all that you have given me in our short time together.

Twilight’s embrace, solitary grace. An old man sits. Hardly fits.
Weary bones, weathered and worn. Weight of memories. Forlorn.

Each creak of the chair, a whispered sigh, Each echo of laughter, a distant cry.
His eyes, windows to a soul, weathered by time.
Reflecting the shadows, of a life’s paradigm.

Twilight’s embrace, solitary grace. An old man sits. Hardly fits.

Alone he sits, in the dwindling light. Lost in the shadows of a long-forgotten fight.
The world outside moves with hurried pace. But within his walls, he finds his solace.
Weary bones, weathered and worn. Weight of memories. Forlorn.

A solitary figure in the vast expanse; beauty in the simplicity of circumstance.

For in his solitude, he finds his song; melody of resilience, enduring and strong.
Though the world may forget his name. In his solitude, he finds no shame.
For in the quiet of twilight’s embrace. He finds the peace of a solitary grace.
Twilight’s embrace, solitary grace. An old man sits. Hardly fits.

Weary bones, weathered and worn. Weight of memories. Forlorn.

With much love,
Charles

Charles/Charlie
Lower Topia ⬆︎